Christmas Cards and Things That Make You Go, "Awww!"

Well, you may not know this, but I am quite the successful card-maker.

And by card-maker, I mean, I make pretty simple homemade greeting cards. And by successful I mean I have completed 2 orders.. both from the same person. But you gotta start somewhere, right? I made a birthday card for my dear friend's son's first birthday and her mother liked it so much she asked me to make her about 40 cards, some "Apple" themed because she is a preschool teacher and some "Christmassy." So I have been busting my butt these past couple weeks or so, using spare moments to cut out Christmas trees, or reindeer antlers, or hole punch some white paper to make snow-flakes, or glue teeny tiny paper eyeballs onto my gingerbread men.. And I have got to be honest- while I love it- it has been a bit more challenging than I expected! I tend to seek perfection when it comes to any project I set my heart to and when I can't deliver that perfection that I long for I become extremely discouraged, extremely quickly. That and I just kept drawing blanks with what to make or what to have them look like. Usually I get about a gazillion ideas all at once for any kind of theme I may want to adhere to but this time, Christmas cards-- my favorite holiday? This was the one that stumped me? So strange. But oh well. Needless to say, I am looking forward to putting this project behind me and very much so hopeful that she will like and appreciate them for their "homemade" value.

Just a few of my Christmas creations.. Not too bad, right??

We have been having such strange weather here as of late, if Sandy wasn't enough we got our first snow just 2 days ago! From treacherous wind and rain storms to freezing cold temp's with snow and then back to beautiful fall days.. All within about 2 weeks. Haha. So much fun! But certainly not for those still without power or resources.. I just can't even imagine.

This was from outside our front door.. Just after it started sticking! We got about another 2 inches after this. 

     

We have been letting Hudson wear his summery shoes with socks up until snow day.. We knew it was time to stop making him look like nerd and finally get the kid some weather appropriate shoes. But woooow... Did you guys know that toddler shoes were so dang expensive?? We have always stuck to the clearance shelves so we never got the full price on shoes but this time around we had to pay retail.. and oh my word... $40 for teeny tiny shoes that he will grow out of in a couples months, if that!!? Yikes. I really gotta find some thrift stores in our area. We, of course, love our son SO much and want him to be well clothed and in things that fit and are seasonally appropriate but gees... I don't even spend that much on new shoes for myself. We will find the loophole, that I promise you.

We also stocked up (okay, 2 of each seems fair enough, right?) on mittens and warm hats! This one probably won't make it outside of our own home but we just couldn't resist :)

And here he is running around the park last week {clearly pre-snow storm- still sporting his summer shoes.. ;) }

In other news, my parents will be making the trek up here for Thanksgiving! 10 glorious days of uninterrupted grandparent time.. I think we are all looking forward to it.. Thanksgiving day parade, Christmas music, adventures all around the city. Not to mention my very first time to cook a whole Thanksgiving meal!! Fun memories lie ahead, I am sure of it.


We had hoped to have a sleeper sofa purchased before they arrive but cost wise- it just isn't doable! We have some big purchases coming up with Christmas around the corner and I am thinking we would rather have Christmas in Cali with Nic's family than a brand new sofa in NYC to sit on all by ourselves. Soon enough, we will get it but for now guests have to deal with an air mattress-- sorry, y'all.


This is enough random Hansen family news for now!

Much love, and God bless!

{UPDATED} 100.

{UPDATE: I finished my list, thank God!}

I don't really even know how to start this one out.. I saw a blog post on a Mommy Blog Site I follow ever so often, where one of the authors there challenged herself to compile a list of 100 words, 100 things she would like to be. I found this to be so very intriguing and couldn't help but try and make a similar list for myself. And of course, found my blog the most suitable place to do so.

For being someone who is usually up for making lists of any kind, I had a tough time with this. I have been so surprised throughout this process! I think the first time I opened up this new post was just about a month ago.. And I keep coming back to it and adding a new word whenever I am inspired by someone or something I see or a scripture I read. The first 10 were a breeze, getting into the 20's had me reciting memory verses from Sunday School about the fruits of the Spirit, 30's were pretty randomly selected annnnnd once I got to the 60's I was pretty much desperate for new words. I won't lie to you-- I even looked up the Scout's Code of Honor just to get some inspiration for some new list-worthy words. {And yes, a few of them even made it on there.} I remember hearing each of my brothers repeat that list of words, over and over again, at every single one of the countless Boy Scout's events I was dragged to in my childhood. I remember the internal struggle of wanting to be "campfire savvy" like my dad and brothers {and let's face it, my mom was pretty kick butt with the outdoorsy stuff, too} all while still wanting to maintain my dainty physique and poise. Wilderness Barbie, if you will. Ah yes, the joys of being the only daughter amongst 4 boys. The rose amongst the thorns, as my dad used to put it.

Anyways, back to the topic, you can find the original post that inspired me here. And you may be disappointed to find, although I hope you will be understanding-- my list is yet to be completed. I don't want to just start putting words down for the sake of completing a list.. I want real, honest things here.. So for now it will remain unfinished. I will finish it, my goodness. Just not tonight.


1. Loving
2. Christ-like
3. Compassionate
4. Generous
5. Funny
6. Kind
7. Humble
8. Caring
9. Thoughtful
10. Bright
11. Spirited
12. Joyful
13. Musical
14. Creative
15. Sweet
16. Domestic
17. Healthy
18. Playful
19. Wise
20. Inquisitive
21. Intelligent
22. Gracious
23. Faithful
24. Patient
25. Peaceful
26. Gentle
27. Merciful
28. Determined
29. Maternal
30. Caring
31. Adventurous
32. Fun
33. Dreamer
34. Talented
35. Blessed
36. Clever
37. Resourceful
38. Silly
39. Slender
40. Grateful
41. Nurturing
42. Giving
43. Balanced
44. Affectionate
45. Talkative
46. Strong
47. Witty
48. Inventive
49. Godly
50. Interesting
51. Meek
52. Smart
53. Discerning
54. Hospitable
55. Secure
56. Aware
57. Composed
58. Trusting
59. Trustworthy
60. Secure
61. Protector
62. Friendly
63. Hopeful
64. Noble
65. Beautiful
66. Respectable
67. Honorable
68. Kissable
69. Dependable
70. Cheerful
71. Loyal
72. Brave
73. Encouraging
74. Relatable
75. Inventive
76. Lovely
77. Prompt
78. Ambitious
79. Considerate
80. Devoted
81. Flexible
82. Decisive
83. Positive
84. Forgiving
85. Sincere
86. Devoted
87. Fair
88. Courageous
89. Honest
90. Confident
91. Pure-of-heart
92. Responsible
93. Diligent
94. Selfless
95. Tactful
96. Zealous
97. Understanding
98. Successful
99. Virtuous
100. Radiant


Do you have 100 words that you can use? Better yet, or maybe just a little easier, your top 10 words that you want to describe you?

I think the only real way for me to complete this is to really truly search my heart... I don't want to be doing this just as a challenge to see if I have a vast enough vocabulary to list 100 positive words I'd like to be associated with myself. I can't just conjure up this brilliant list of fancy describing words without genuinely taking a look at who I am, who I have been, who I want to be.. And I believe all of these words are God-breathed. Maybe that's silly to you, but I don't care. He is my Creator, who knows me better than I know myself, and ultimately HE is the only one who can stitch these attributes into me. Into this person that I long to be. Write these words upon my heart.

So who do I want to be?

This is a topic that can yet never should be taken lightly, in my opinion.

I want to be a God-fearing, Christ-like woman who passionately seeks her Heavenly Father, honors and loves her husband, and nurtures and adores her children.

I want to be a healthful and fit woman that can keep up with, better yet stay one step ahead of, even the rowdiest of kiddos.

I tend to want to be everything to everyone, which I have come to learn is a very slippery slope. I like to be the one who always has advice, the one who can offer up a word of encouragement or wisdom at the drop of a hat, the one who always brings fresh baked treats to gatherings, the one who can cook anything anyone ever wants to try, the one who cheers up even the angriest of folks, the one who takes care of everyone all the time, the one who takes pictures and documents all of lives important moments, is well-read and knowledgeable about everything, the one with a supply of  Tylenol or Ibuprofen {not even kidding, for the better part of my adolescence and into my adulthood I have always carried Aspirin and Benadryl with me incase someone around me were to happen to have a heart attack or allergic reaction}, an extra pen to hand you when you need something to write with, always has an extra stick of gum, etc.

I mean really, is that too much to ask??

Sandy Storm.

Well!! We have survived our very first hurricane. Or Frankenstorm. Or Megastorm, Superstorm, or just Sandy. Whatever you may be calling it {our family has been referring to it as Sandy Storm.} We made it, in one piece with all of our belongings just as they were before the storm hit. And to be honest, I don't feel all that different from a few days ago when I was just plain ol' Kristin. Not this new Hurricane Survivor Kristin, Kristin the Sandy Slayer, a key component of the Hansen Family Hurricane Heroes... I could keep going, but I shall refrain.

I definitely didn't expect to need to know how to be hurricane ready when we made the move to NYC. Godzilla attacks, Cloverfield style invasions, Day After Tomorrow weather atrocities- surely. But Sandy?? She was one sly little lady. Very unexpected on our part.

Between the media playing it up to be the most devastating storm of this era and my neighbor George brushing it off like it's no big deal I was pretty confused with how to prepare for this storm. So I went for the safe middle ground.

Flashlights, batteries and candles? Check.
Blankets? Check.
Canned foods and bottled water? Check.
Wine and Nutella? Double check. {Thanks, honey :)}
A little bit of cash just in case? Check.
Multiple cases of water and canned goods? No, thank you.
$40 Police status Magnum flashlights that could light up an entire block? Nah. {Sorry, babe}
Boarded up windows and sandbagged stairwells? Not unless our Super insisted. {Which he didn't.}
Car moved to the top of a parking garage that was sure to remain flood free? Eh. We could gladly call that claim in.

Aside from a few extra groceries and a case of water we went along with our regular lives. And though I am sure Nic will disagree, I feel like I did remain pretty level headed throughout the entire process. What really helped was when I FaceTimed with my bro Kevin and sis Meryl and he told us we should video blog about this intense storm we were experiencing. {At that point we hadn't seen a drop of rain, and the winds were barely pulling the already loose fall leaves off of their branches..} And I thought he was joking-- until he text me asking for a video update a few hours later. SO we had some fun with it and made some silly video blogs. Complete with Nic going outside shirtless, claiming to have lost Hudson and I in the chaos and to be seeking shelter.. Needless to say, it helped keep our spirits light.

Not to trivialize others experiences, of course, because I DO know that lower Manhattan got pretty bad,  with power outages and insane flooding and a construction crane dangling from atop a building on 57th St, Long Island had significant flooding and even a huge blaze down at Rockaway, and NJ got wrecked with entire towns underwater and coastline homes and structures torn into the raging waters. My heart just breaks for all that people have lost in this storm.. and for those still dealing with the aftermath. We have weathered the worst of it and everything should be looking up from here.  I feel SO blessed.

We really truly lucked out, for as awful as it was in other areas and how much the news teams had us prepared for the worst- this Hansen family has made it safely. I made the joke that God gave me Hudson to keep me from doing stupid things-- last night it was SO hard to not venture out into the storm to check out the flooding and such. Nic did a few times, and I did for but a moment but quickly retreated when I saw a scary looking man with a less-than-inncoent look in his eye {Don't judge me! I am not one to judge quickly but in this sort of a situation you never who is out and about nor what their intentions are!} We had flooding in our area, some a little close for comfort (hardly 1blk north and Hudson's favorite park 3blks south was underwater), and many fallen trees and branches, and lots of debris strewn in the streets... Aside from our internet cutting out a few times we were perfectly comfortable throughout the entire storm. What a huge blessing.

This is a picture of the flooding that was just a block north of us-- 2 cars were completely submerged and others were up to their roofs. This was taken when Nic went out on one of his Sandy Storm adventures.

And I obviously can't take credit for this photo, I found it with a search for blacked out lower manhattan during Sandy and this one one that came up.. I just thought it was a pretty neat representation of the power outage that occurred during the storm! 

Also can't take credit for this one but my friend that lives in Brooklyn took this from her apartment moments after all the lights went out in Lower Manhattan! Just a crazy view.. It's amazing how different the city looks when the lights go out.

So, all in all, we feel so thankful to have weathered this storm safely. We are so grateful for all of the sweet phone calls, Facebook messages, texts and other ways people were reaching out to us to make sure all was well. Our hearts and prayers are with those who were not so lucky. 

Leaps and Bounds.

Yep. It's here.

It has finally arrived.

The moment in time which no parent knows quite how to prepare for, a moment that has been documented by home videos and pictures, notated in family calendars and baby books, Facebook updates IN ALL CAPS, and hearts full of joy and pride by all who look on for decades- heck maybe even centuries. (Okay, the Facebook thing has only been around like 10 years but the rest of them are valid.)

My baby boy is a walking man.

And I'm not talking about the occasional 2-3 steps he's been teasing us with for months. No, no- I mean he stands up- points himself where he wants to go and takes off. Sure, he's still a bit wobbly and he can't quite make it up the small rise into our kitchen and bathroom but sooooo what. That day is soon to come, I am sure of it. This kid amazes me.

I feel like every day since we have moved to New York I have been keeping a new note about new things Hudson can do. One day it was walking, the next it was finally figuring out how to climb up onto our bed, the next it was trying to run, the next it way trying to kick the soccer ball, the list goes on...

And I won't bore you with monotonous details about the glorious moment that he started stringing more and more steps together, but Nic and I are thrilled! 

Also, just as a fun side-note, this is what happened when Nic turned on Pavarotti's, "O Sole Mio," a few nights ago. The kid tossed his books aside with reckless abandon and bolted over to lay his head on Nic's lap and listen. I guess listening to The Three Tenors throughout my pregnancy really paid off. He's gonna be a musical genius.

Mom things.

It's a cozy rainy day in NYC, wee man is napping and as usual I am in a writing mood... But rather than ignoring it and catching up on cleaning or getting myself pretty for the day-- I am going to sit down and do this thing.

I made some pretty lofty promises back when I was still prego that I would remember that I have a life outside of being a mom, and that I would post about other things than just mom stuff... And I think I have done pretty well at maintaining a balance between mom life and other life (although, let's face it, the two don't exactly exist without they other.. something I have come to find out since having a babe... other life? What is that again??) But anyways, I have had some "Mom" things weighing on my heart for such a long time now, and often I have found the best way to deal is to write it out. Hash it out between me, myself, and I and see just what comes up at the end.. So you will just have to bear with me.

I've been struggling recently..  I guess I can't really say recently, due to the fact that is has practically lasted since Hudson made his way into this world. It has been more than a year since the birth of my son and despite all of my best efforts I just can't quite seem to get it together.  I already know what most of you will say, "Are you kidding me, Kris?! You're a great mom!" I get it.. It may not seem this way to others but it is most certainly how I feel, and that makes it more real than any kind of  genuine well-intentioned compliment someone could pay me to try and lift my spirits. I mean, sure- some days are much better than others and on those "others" I paste on a smile, conjure up some sort of response about the joys of motherhood, and keep saying it over and over in hopes of me one day believing them all. But in all honesty, deep down, I am hurting. Most days I feel like I have failed my son in every earthly way possible. Most days I feel like I just can't make everything BE how I would like it to be. And most days I don't know who I am even meant to be- I have not felt like myself in what feels like forever.

And in the light of being completely transparent here- there are some days when I see other moms posting on various social media outlets all kinds of joyous tidbits about how perfect their life as a mother is, about how great it feels to be a mom, how awesome their newest DIY project went, about how much the Lord has blessed them and they're so grateful for His leadership over their lives as mom's, and all kinds of other happy crap and really all it makes me want to do is lash out irrationally, shake them and scream at them, "HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS!!!???"  What's worse is it makes me so incredibly jealous I can't hardly stand it. And I know I am not meant to envy, to compare, compete, or whatever... It's the furthest thing from being an awesome God-fearing, Jesus-loving momma but I am human and guess what? I suck at this. Here I am desperately clinging to each tiny shred of happiness and joy that I can grasp. Hoping that it will somehow amount to a good, non-emotionally scarring, well-rounded childhood for my son... How on earth am I meant to compete with women who finally come into their own when they reach motherhood? Who embrace the tantrums and messes as though it were their one and only life calling? Who are totally and completely fulfilled by meal planning, organizing, cleaning, reading baby books, playing and cooing thiiiiis little piggy went to the market?? If anything I feel only more lost since becoming a mother.

Oh wait, here comes the contradiction, of course. This wouldn't really be a rant of mine if there wasn't some awesome contradiction that makes me seem all them more confusing to the onlooker, now would it? On the good days- when I am able to completely clean my house, have a fantastic dinner ready, and happy baby and husband full of all the love I could possibly have poured out on them that day-- I do......feel......wonderful. It's such a breath of fresh air. I get a new found hope, that maybe, just maybe I can do this. That, hey, now that wasn't so hard, was it? My inner dialogue changes drastically from a hum drum, 'I don't think I am cut out for this', to a cheerful, 'hooray! I am the best mom/wife/person/cook/maid/have-it-all-put-together-crafty-works-out-all-the-time-lady EVER!!!' Maybe this should be the time that I take to Facebook to rub all of my domestic glory in the faces of the women who felt like they failed that day... Please sense the sarcasm.

I am caught between wanting to let things slide and wanting absolute perfection. Like not worrying about the state of my home all the time and wanting something worthy of a Better Homes & Garden spread. Or wanting to spend ALL day catering to Hudson's every whim, playing, going to the park, etc and wanting to make sure that we have a ritual complete with lesson plans and a new skill to learn each day.

Am I making any sense? Is anyone still following me? I feel like, as per usual, my inept ability to ramble has devoured any sense of direction this post may have had.

I mean, really, truly, am I the only one out there who goes through this? I can't be the only mom in the world who feels like I am just not cut out for this. Who more often than not- feels like a total and complete failure.

And then a friend of mine shared this beautifully written blog. Why would she post that if she hadn't at some point felt like a complete loser that couldn't get her ducks in a row? And then I remembered this encouraging post. that I read months ago...

I am NOT alone. And that makes me feel the slightest bit better.

Tarantino

There should be a book written about us..

Or maybe just skip the whole book thing and go straight to feature film... and none of that Lifetime movie crap. I'm talking the real deal, tell it like it is, never made up- always entertaining, full length movie.

Because, really, these sorts of things don't just happen on a regular basis to regular people. Right? Or maybe they do and I am just stuck in my own little world thinking we're some kind of special.

Back in the day when my big bro Matt and I had to drive from ABQ to El Paso for our monthly braces adjustment, we would spend much of the drive either jamming out to unnecessarily loud music, or listening to comedians.. And I remember a Dane Cook joke where he starts off by saying he's gonna "Tarantino" his joke.. And by that meaning start from the end, with the punch line in all of its climactic glory, and then go back to the beginning to bring some understanding to the epic moment that is leaving you with a question mark over your head. So I think that's kinda what I want to try today.




Once the hacksaw broke we had to come to terms with reality... That sucker just isn't gonna fit.




Right?? That's a pretty good one.. Maybe? Sorta? Are you on the edge of your seat, glued to the screen? Good. Let's take it back to the beginning.. :)

We arrived in NYC on the 5th to a tiny, but livable apartment. That is one of the tougher things about moving to NYC from out of town. The real estate market here is nuts, and if you don't happen to be lucky enough to find one in person, or to be able to fly out to ok the place before you sign- you really wind up needing to place a LOT of trust in your broker. We had imagined something quite different to what we wound up with. Our "900sqft, 2 br apartment" is more like "600sqft apartment, 0 br- just a  room with no closets and a tiny little "closet-sized" room adjoined to serve as a second place for sleeping." Haha.. remember how I said I was yet to be emotional about the move? Well.. moments after the broker left, I broke down. I think it was all just a lot to take in.. Nic and I literally were walking in circles trying to find where this extra bedroom was meant to be, where we were meant to move our sons belongings into.. But it turns out the floor plan feels a bit more like a kitchen, separate dining, living and a walk in closet... When it's meant to be eat-in kitchen, separate living room that has french doors leading into the bedroom that has a tiny little second bedroom attached. Not sure if that made sense but I have no other way to describe it.

To make things quite a bit better we met some amazing people on our first day here. First off, was George. The gentleman from across the street that offered to take us out to lunch almost immediately upon meeting us (not kidding!) at an Italian restaurant down the street.. We happily agreed since we were both starved and knew Hudson must have been feeling hungry too. Turns out, aside from a few years in his 20's-30's, he has lived in that same Brownstone home his entire life (he's 70 years old!) and every day he sits out on his stoop chatting with the people that pass by.  He knows this neighborhood like the back of his hand and he has been nothing but a complete joy to get to know. Such a sweet man with an incredible life that I highly look forward to hearing much more about.

We also met with Tyson and Alee.. We had oddly enough already met them via Skype at some of the meetings we had with the Downing's regarding the church plant set to take place in NYC in 2013, but this was the first time getting to actually see them in the flesh. They cooked us dinner and it was a wonderful evening. They are not NYC natives so it has been fun exploring our new city together since then. We already feel so connected with them and really enjoy their company! Thank you, Jesus, for good friends!

We camped out on our air mattress while we enjoyed getting accustomed to the city life for a bit over a week before the rest of our things arrived. The moving company, however, made the story a bit of a frustrating one. Even before they picked our things up we knew we had made a mistake selecting them as our moving co. These guys were absolutely unorganized, unprofessional, and extremely difficult to deal with. Such a huge bummer when you're really excited about moving but duhn, duhn, duuuuhhhnnn-- the big bad moving guys are holding your belongings hostage while they try to bully you into paying tons of crazy fees.

Anyways, we got our stuff and quickly began to realize that we hadn't quite downsized enough. I swear, with every load of boxes they brought up I thought, surely this has to be the last of it! And then Pako would round the corner with another heap of things I would need to sort and decide what to keep and what to send to the thrift store. It is just shocking to see how many things we have. I mean, really-- do we need all of that?!

They started bringing up our furniture after getting the last of the boxes up and we were not too surprised to find that a lot of our things had been broken. A tall lamp, a book case, Nic's bike handlebars, too many glass items to count.. It's just so strange to me that this is what these men get paid to do. They are meant to be movers. And yet, they pretty much just carelessly threw things around. One box was so full of shards of glass it was apparent that they hadn't just bumped it, or accidentally cracked something- the damage made it seem like they had literally thrown the box to the ground. They should change their job title to breakers. Cause they're really good at that. ;)

After all was nearly said and done, they brought up the last piece of furniture, our beloved greenish yellowish couch. They had a LOT of trouble getting it up 3 flights of stairs and around the narrow hallways, but they finally got it to our door only to find that it wouldn't go through. They pushed, pulled, readjusted, and cussed. And they had absolutely NO luck. They weighed a couple different options before deciding that we were just going to have to deal with it on our own. The "boss man" told us to call a furniture doctor.. Apparently you can hire these guys to come take apart your couch and put it back together... So they left it in our hall. Thankfully we have they top floor, otherwise that just wouldn't have worked.  But anyways..

A couple days later, after awkwardly maneuvering around the inconveniently placed couch, and knowing that we weren't going to spend a fortune on a "furniture doctor" come take apart our couch just to have to turn around and pay them to do it again whenever we move out of this place, Nic decided that he was going to make that couch fit. He pushed, pulled, sighed, contemplated... And then decided to give the last possible option a try. Yep. He was going to cut those dang legs off the couch.

So out came the Bear Gryll's Gerber knife I bought him for Christmas paired with a hammer. He started to chisel away at the solid oak legs. He got through one.. and then started to get through the second one when the tip of the knife broke off.

Then he did what any reasonable man would do... he walked to the hardware store around the corner and bought a hacksaw.

This plan seemed to be working pretty well.. until the hacksaw broke. Turns out the hacksaw couldn't quite handle the task. It broke while he was hacking off the last leg and he had to take a hammer to remove the last one.

And once the hacksaw broke we had to come to terms with reality... That sucker just isn't gonna fit...



Haha.. How was that for my awesome rendition of a Tarantino story? I could probably do better. In fact, I could have probably chosen a better story to test it out on. But that is beside the point. I'm glad I did it. And I am sure I will try it again sometime. I'm sure you're thrilled to hear that :)

By the way- we wound up putting it up on the Free section of Craigslist, after all we couldn't expect someone to pay for the freshly battered couch. It was snagged up within 2 days.

This New York City lifestyle is really starting to grow on me. Even though I off loaded heaps of our belongings before we moved I feel like I get to continue purging through our things on a continual basis. Just one more thing to give away, each and every day. I love it.


I realized a few days ago, after perusing through some other blogs, that I am far from the average blogger. I am not good with keeping timely updates. I don't often post "tutorials" on how to be a better crafty lady. Or post how-to, step-by-step, directions on baking a delicious slice of heaven. (Although, there was that one time that I did post that one blog with all the pictures of the crafty things I completed.. That was cute, wasn't it?) I don't give tips on how to be a better mom, wife, or person in general. I don't keep logs of my work-out schedule or document trying out the newest calorie sizzling cardio. I don't keep you updated with my daily devotions or give reviews on the latest book I've read. Ultimately, this blog has never really had a direction, or a purpose outside of giving me a place to sort of document my life, our lives. Shed a little light on the how's and why's of this little Hansen family. And I am completely okay with  that.

And I still stand firm in my decision to title this blog, three or so years ago, Destination: Beautiful. Because although this blog has never technically had a direction.. It has always stayed true to the fact that no matter where this life is taking me, no matter what the Lord has had in store for me.. It has always been and will always continue to be beautiful.

The end.

Cheers, and God Bless.

Ode to Kansas City

Well, we are officially on the road to NYC.. I suppose we were technically on our way as of Saturday but we made a pit stop in Cincinatti to visit with our wonderful friends, the Boehne's, for a day or so. It was a quick one, but I am thankful nonetheless.

We have both been somewhat non-emotional about this move. I feel like there must be a part of me that doesn't believe it, or something like that. I have always been a sissy when it comes to goodbyes, and yet here I am, having to say goodbye to all of my dear friends in KC and all of our favorite places, and not a single tear was shed. I must be growing up... Or like I really suspect, just haven't fully wrapped my mind around what has taken place. 

Anyways, in an effort to pull some sort of emotional response out of Nic and myself, I decided to sit down and make a list of things we would miss. Which instantly was backed up with an equally long list (if not slightly longer..) of things we would definitely not miss.  Ha! Oh well. Tis life.

I must admit-- I lost the actual list we made so I am basing all of this off from memory... I'm sure you will be able to find some level of appreciation for them, whether you've made lists like these yourself or if you just have a good sense of humor. ;) 

Things we WILL miss:

Our fave restaurants: Lulu's, Jerusalem Cafe, Grünauer, OK Joe's (and other noteworthy BBQ joints), and Blanc. 

Our favorite places: WWI memorial- this place holds TOO many memories to try and list. We fell in love and got engaged there... to name a few; Loose Park- same sort of sentiment as the previous, there's just so much that took place in that beautiful park that has everything to do with us being together. River Market- pretty self explanatory. The cool downtown library.

We're going to miss taking random drives around town, KC is surprisingly a beautiful city with LOTS of cool neighborhoods and buildings and random country roads lined with trees. Also, taking runs through those areas will be missed!
We are going to miss having Tashie live with us! It has been so fun sharing our home with her and getting to know her better.  And I think it is safe to say we are definitely going to miss having the "live-in babysitter." Haha!
Definitely going to miss all of the cool thunderstorms.. There are few things I love more in life than being cuddled in bed, listening to a thunderstorm roll by. 

The IHOP prayer room- truly one of the most peaceful, challenging and wonderfully places I have ever encountered. And although we can turn on the web stream whenever we please, it's just such a different experience actually being able to sit in there and soak it all in.

And last but not least, our friends. Each and every single one of them. We have met some truly incredible people while living in the Midwest and although I know it still hasn't hit me fully, I already miss everyone. It's gonna be terrible not having Kelly and Salem to meet for a Target trip or park visit, not having my wonderful Ashley's always down for a dinner date, both Gabbard families in their entirety, the Lubbers and Bailey's to share holiday meals and Sunday dinners with, the Albaugh's for random hang-outs and meet-ups, miss Brit for quick chats and meet ups on random street corners for the heck of it, the list just goes on... I am really really gonna miss everyone. 

We really AREN'T going to miss:

All the freakin crusty kids on every corner riding their hipster-ass fixie bikes! Judging me for putting cream in my coffee, sometimes buying non-organic food and taking a shower more than once a month. Lol. And this includes our loud upstairs neighbors that stomp like elephants and have drunken rampages that sound like someone is tripping out on bath salts. 

Not gonna miss the humidity. Not one bit. 

Terrible drivers that ride in the fast lane traveling approx 20mph below the speed limit. Eat my dust, suckas! I'm goin to New York where EVERYONE speeds ;P Oh and not to mention, everything being at least a 20 minute drive away. 

You'll have to bear with me on this one but.. We're not going to miss all the flaky IHOPer's out there. Seriously a dime a dozen.. I know I have spaced it on returning phone calls, emails, and such but it literally feels like these kids do it on purpose. I can't tell you how many unanswered texts, messages, phone calls, etc I've had to let roll off my back and grin instead of give the cold shoulder in the name of forgiveness.

Inside joke but it has to be listed.. We reeeeaaallly aren't gonna miss the 3B's...

Nic's number one thing he won't miss are the terrible employers he's run into in KC! I'm pretty sure my poor husband has not worked for an honest, good man in years.. 

Not gonna miss all the bugs! There's nothing worse than waking up to find a new constellation pattern of mosquito bites on your leg. 
Not gonna miss the lack of a good skyline. Apart from the good view of downtown, KC is as flat as a chalkboard. Not so pretty to look at. 

Hahaha... Not quite how I imagined it looking but I think it works. 

We do have a lot we will miss and maybe more will hit us as time goes by... But for now we have so much to look forward to. And I genuinely can't wait to see all that NYC has to offer. It will be an adventure in the very least.

Things are meant to get easier with time, right?

I've sat down and tried to write a new post about a dozen times since the last time I posted, and well- its obvious that I haven't been successful until now. 

There are about 100 things I've wanted to say, to ramble on about as I usually do, to update everyone about our lives and journey, and yet again- its fairly obvious that I haven't been successful in that either :)

But I shall try, as I usually do, to  smoosh as much ooey gooey goodness into this sucker as possible.

First off, we are moving. Again. I think the last time I posted we were getting ready to move into the new house in KC, which in itself is an entire blog-worthy event, but I will just give some key points.

We were given the keys 2 days before our move-in date and were too excited to not take a peek before hand. Which wound up being a blessing and a curse, curse  because it turned out being the most disgusting mess I have ever been face to face with. Absolutely filthy in every possible corner, on every possible surface. And I suppose it was a  blessing because we had an extra 2 days to try to get everything at least acceptable to move in.  It was a week and a half after moving in until I felt comfortable enough to unpack anything and start to put it in cabinets and cupboards. Kinda sad, really. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until we couldn't clean any longer and still there were new messes and gross junk to be discovered. Mold, grime, dust thicker than I've ever seen, the whole shebang. It was  disheartening to say the least. Never in my life have I met a mess I couldn't clean, but this house defeated me day after day. And the worst part? The girls living here before us clearly chose to live in such filth. (they moved out the day before we got the keys)

I'd post some pictures but on the off-chance that one of you are eating breakfast or enjoying an afternoon snack whilst reading this I'll resist. You should thank me, really. 

Anyways, approximately 3 days after we moved in Nic received an email from a gentleman he'd been in touch with over the past months due to a random string of events, in this email was an incredible job offer. One that sounded WAY too good to be true. And shockingly enough involved a relocation to New York City. 

I was hesitant and Nic was beyond excited. 

And by the time I got excited, Nic was hesitant.

We seem to have that problem with big things like this! We never share in our excitement. It's like one of us always starts to dream like crazy and get our hearts all expectant and excited while the other has to be keeping us anchored to reality.. May sound sad or dysfunctional to you, but it works for us :)

I'll keep the story short mostly because I want to get to everything today but I will definitely post a full length retelling of the awesome story. Either way I tell it, it ends (or shall I say it all begins!) with us moving to NYC at the end of this month. 

As life would have it be, days after our acceptance of the job Nic gets a letter from the KCFD stating that they had full-time position available for him and that they'd love for him to join. ( A letter we have practically  been awaiting since we first met!) And again last week, the Fire Chief called to let Nic know they would like for him to start as a firefighter in the next few weeks. 

But we stand firm in our decision, we truly feel that this is what the Lord has for us. And we are excited, to say the very least.

Growing up is hard.

I mean, it really and truly is. As I watch Hudson getting over the bumps and bruises that come hand-in-hand with learning to crawl and walk, I've been struck with this realization that we never truly do get over that "awkward" stage. You know the one I'm talking about? When you're trying to push forward with life but everything in your body won't quite cooperate? Or you just can't quite get everything to move forward with you? I make the same joke about my athleticism, it's like my mind can fully comprehend the why and how, it's just my body that can't quite work out a basketball layup, or a perfect overhand serve in volleyball. It's like thus far in my life, I have been in a constant state of moving forward all the while still trying to get myself to stay caught up. I'm not sure if that makes any sense to you, but I know I can't be the only one. I really do long for a season of  "normal" or something just kinda easy. But then again, maybe if I ever reach that place I will long for nothing more than a little chaos! Ha.  I mean, this is a normal wonderment of life, right? 

I dropped Nic off at the airport to fly out for his first week of work with Christian, it's so surreal! It still somehow feels like I just dropped him off at work for the evening and he'll be coming home later tonight. I'm sure tonight as I crawl into bed without him I'll be hit with the reality of this situation.. But until then I think I'll try to enjoy the oblivion.

He will be gone until Thursday when he will fly to meet up with me and Hudson  in Albuquerque.. Our first time back since Father's Day last summer, and Hudson's very first trip ever! My brother and sister kindly gifted us plane tickets to come visit and while i think they had intended on trying to keep us all to themselves, we're gonna get to spend some time with the other brothers and my parents. They're even throwing Hudson a lil early birthday party :)

As per usual, we have a lot going on, and I really truly will do my best to update as soon as I can!

Much love, and God bless.

Lesson: Learned

Oooh my, this has got to be one of the most "fun" parts of being young whippersnappers raising a child of our own.

Lessons.

There are good lessons, tough lessons, weird lessons (like finding out that bouncing on an exercise ball calms down a colicky baby), and overall just some life lessons that are better to get out of the way as soon as possible.

Just a brief summary of last night's events:
We head out as a family (Tash included) to go get new bike tires and tubes. We wind up at the Target that is connected to an AMC, mall and Dick's Sporting Goods. Around 6:30 Nic says, Hey! Let's go see The Avengers! I assess the food/diaper ratio we have remaining in the diaper bag and decide we're in good standing and have enough to last us the rest of the night. Our movie doesn't start until 7:40 but thats not a big deal, we figure Hudson will fall asleep sometime around the beginning of the movie and then wake up when we arrive home to put him in bed. Well, needless to say, none of that happened. We decided moments into the trailers that we would need some more food for him so Nic runs over to Target and makes it back just in time before any of the good previews start. Hudson is getting a tad fussy so Nic offers to go stand at the back with him... They wind up on the floor, Nic still able to see the screen, and Hudsy happily playing with his shoes that Nic removed in an effort to keep him occupied. I grab a good portion of the toys and snacks from the bag, swap with him and spend a good portion of time back there. Then Tash kindly offers to come sit with him. Within about 5 min Hudson is making some pretty promising fussy sounds (I mean promising in the sense that it would easily blow up if something was not done ASAP) so Nic grabs the bottle and heads back to relieve Tash. Here I am thinking, Nic is feeding Hudson on the back wall, Hudson will fall asleep, Nic will come back to seat with Hudson and all will be well. Ha. About 15 minutes later I can faintly hear the sound of a wailing baby that seemed to be coming from the hallway and I had to check, sure enough, Nic, with a more-than-stressed look on his face, tells me that Hudson has been screaming since he got him, won't sleep, won't eat, and poor Nic left his phone in the theater and had no way of letting me know this. So I offer to take over and let Nic go watch the movie while I sit in the hall with Mr. Grumpy Gills. And yes, that is where I spent the remainder of the movie. I'd say a solid hour. Quietly sitting on a bench, just outside of the theater, while Hudson switched from playing with his shoes, bottle, my toes, his hands, crying, whining, thrashing, pulling my hair, playing with my glasses, jibber jabbering, a little more playing with his shoes, and then looking at himself in my front face camera on my iPhone. You can see his profile photo worthy self-portrait below..

So what was the lesson learned last night? Simple.

Babies hate The Avengers.

Just because..

I remember sharing at the beginning of the year about my quest to end my struggle with Trichotillomania, and by end- I mean beat it. No longer have it in my life.

I can't say that I've been 100% successful, or even 100% dedicated some days, but I can tell you things are getting better. If I have my guess right, I'd say the longest I've lasted between pulls was 2 weeks! I'm still praying for deliverance and healing, and would love if you would also pray for me. That good old scripture isn't constantly quoted for nothing.. "when two or more are gathered.." I believe there is power in numbers, and also in confession, which is why I have shared this wonderfully humbling bit of my life with all of you. I genuinely have a desire to be better, to be free of this. And I SO look forward to the day when I can run my fingers through my hair and not wince.

Tash has been living with us for a bit over a month now and I have a few things to say in regards to that (shocker, right?). First off, can I just say, I LOVE having a sister. I've wanted it all my life and I finally have some in my life! (5 sisters!! Can you believe it!!??) And THIS one happens to be fantastic. (which yes, they all are, I'm just enjoying my time with this one) She is a trooper! Among many other wonderful attributes, she is being so steadfast- sleeping on our couch, dutifully looking for a job, not complaining about the lack of space until we move to the new place, not causing a fuss concerning her almost complete lack of privacy, and I MUST  mention- giving me breaks from life as a mom with Hudson. Date nights are a new thing in this household and I LOVE them! I look forward to many more to come :)

Aside from all those wonderful things listed above (and the many more I have yet to mention) I have absolutely adored getting to spend time with her and get to know her beyond occasional talks on the phone! Nic works a lot, and she is yet to find a job so more often than not its just me, Tash and Hudson hanging out and we always wind up having just a lovely time. And in case you're wondering, yes, I have got her hooked on Friends just like me. Didnt take much time at all ;)

We have our move-out date set for May 31 and I am just so excited for it. I've been packing over the past week or so and I am really feeling pretty confident that I have a good handle on all that still needs to be done. My mind is already racing with all of the different little projects I want to do when we get to the new place. Everything from attempting to build our own breakfast nook set (diner style booth), to stenciling the walls and organizing the linen closet. I think deep down, I am my very happiest when I am getting to create. Whether it be recipes, crafty things or music- that is where my heart finds true content. Being useful and making things better! Now, if only I could find a way to bring in some extra cash when doing this, then I'd be all set! ;)

Of course, no matter what it is I end up doing, I'm sure at some point I'll wind up posting some photos of the changes. I'm sure you'll be looking forward to that day just as much as I am.

I find it incredible that Hudson is already a whopping 8 months old. Is anybody else in shock about this?! How has this happened so quickly?! Everyone warned me- everyone said it would just fly by- and I even believed them. I didn't doubt it for one second. I just didn't think it would be THIS fast.  I mean, wow. I am just amazed. 

I saw a cool quote on some board on Pinerest the other day, and I'm thinking of making some sort of piece of art to hang in Hudson's new bedroom (a nursery to decorate! Yippee!!), it's says, "cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. so settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep-  I'm rocking my baby, for babies don't keep."

Isn't that just cute? I know I sometimes find myself fretting about the way my house looks, or the untidy nature of my countertops and I just think its important to remember to relish in the sweet moments I get to have with Hudson. Cause one day there will be more Hansen babies running around, more messes to clean, laundry will always be there.. But this moment, right now? The one where he is so preciously pressed against my heart, fast asleep... This will never ever come back. And that is just so very bittersweet.

I love being a mom. I think I've said that once or twice on here. And it just continues to become more and more true. Yes, there are moments of frustration, desperation, depression and sometimes even a little bit of anger finds its way in there (like when he is SO overtired and just won't take his bottle!!) but I'd say above all, it's an absolute blessing. He is such a wonderful baby. And I just can't seem to kiss him enough.

I'm looking forward to leading worship at Cc.tv next weekend. Tim and Amy are out of town and Nic will be working so.. It's all me. And "the guys," of course. But it's literally been YEARS since I led from the piano without Nic and I am just a little bit curious about how it's gonna go. I mean, I love to lead worship, no matter what the setting but... I feel like my confidence lies in the fact that I always have Nic playing with me, leading me. It should be fun! And also probably pretty humbling. but I will let you know how it went either way.. 



I think that should just about wrap it up for now.. Until next time, cheers and God bless!

Right there, folks. That's what I call real love.

Have you ever been trying to solve one of those ridiculous brain teaser puzzles, where you push and pull and twist and manipulate and toss aside in a fit of frustration only to pick it right back up and continue the process? And then one day when you've more than given up you give it one more go and it happens, it clicks. Seemingly out of nowhere it just smoothly glides into it's proper position. And there you stand joyfully, relieved & accomplished, happy its over with, and ready to move on to the next thing to conquer.

Well, my friends, that's kinda how I can explain meeting my beloved, Nic.

I met Nic at a gathering in Kansas City, and within 2 weeks we were inseparable. We just clicked. I was dating someone else at the time, and had seen the end of the relationship a long time coming but was too afraid to do anything about it. Until I met HIM. I had been sitting there, pushing, pulling, manipulating my life to try and make it JUST FIT, RIGHT THERE. Come OOOOOON. And then, click. A sudden smooth transition that made my heart find its rest. Out of nowhere came this masterpiece of a person, a man after God's own heart, a gentleman to the core, a talented musician and a foreginer to boot. More-so than ever my heart was ready to move on. Move on from the struggle, the fight, the agonizing process of desperately trying to make things fit where the weren't supposed to.

I feel like this is how so many of our lives go. We push, we pull, we try so hard to make things fit into this tiny little mold that seems impossible. And yet, when we surrender, throw our white flag in the air, something inexplicable breaks. It's like by finally offering up our control we give God the freedom to move on. We give God the freedom to take over and give us that tiny little push in the right direction that we needed.

And then, it clicks.

It is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

My, oh my..

If there was one thing in my life I didn't think I would ever find myself obsessing over it would be milk. Breast milk, for that matter.

It seems like it can be such a taboo topic. It's like everyone "knows" its out there but no one wants to really acknowledge it. Everyone "knows" women breastfeed but they don't really wanna be around it. And I actually can relate! It totally creeped me out.. even throughout my entire pregnancy I couldn't really come to terms with the fact that some day soon a tiny baby would literally be relying on me for milk. Like a calf to a cow. Weird. My own selfish issues aside, I knew it would be what I needed to do and I took advantage of the 9 month period of time to grow more and more accustomed to the idea. It's the way God intended, right?

I think more than anything it was intimidating! I was more afraid of breast feeding than I was of labor itself! No joke. "What if I can't do it well? What if my body won't work the way it is supposed to? I don't know how to do this! How am I supposed to be good at something I don't even know how to do?" Either way I looked at it the day was soon approaching that I would have to plunge into the world of nursing. And I was terrified.

Then the day came.. I gave birth to my perfect baby boy and the nurse handed him to me, in that moment I just knew. It didn't matter how uncomfortable it was, how awkward it felt or how terrified I truly was, I was gonna make it happen. I was going to make sure my son got the very best nutrition possible. And that meant I would need to breastfeed.

9 excruciating, stressful weeks went by and I made the very tough decision to stop nursing and exclusively pump. That sounds crazy, I know. But we had some major issues that got in the way of us being able to do it. Hudson was born tongue tied almost to the very tip of his tongue which made it extremely hard to latch, he also had a very sensitive gag reflex, which meant anytime he actually was able to latch he would wind up choking himself into an absolute fit of rage. We tried everything the nurses, my midwife and lactation consultants sent our way.. I begged mother forums for tips and ideas that could help us to be able to have the important mother child bond that is developed from nursing... Even at 2 weeks old when he got his tongue tie clipped things just never got easier. He literally never happily suckled away like my heart so desperately longed for..

So we decided that I would make use of my awesome pump and I would work to pump multiple times daily and I would bottle feed. A hefty order to say the least, but I was determined that if he wouldn't nurse he'd at least get breast milk and not be on formula. I feel very blessed that my body responded well to that process.. Many women who are not able to nurse don't wind up being able to build a supply high enough to still only feed breast milk.

Anyways, as I opened with earlier, I am now obsessing about my "supply." Over the past months I built up quite a large freezer back stock as I almost always had a lot of milk left over at the end of the day. I had even looked into donating/selling my extra milk for preemies in hospital NICU units. I thankfully was deemed "ineligible" because I got a tattoo in January, and apparently a minimum of 3 months is required to wait after a tattoo to be able to donate any "bodily fluids." I was bothered by that in the moment but now feel blessed because it came in handy!

I was fairly sick about a month ago and was not able to eat properly or keep much food down at all and my milk supply took a sudden massive drop. I went from pumping about 40oz a day to barely getting 20. Hudson blew through the freezer stock and I am now staring at the need to start supplementing with formula. But I am once again looking to friends, strangers, forums, nurses, anyone really who can offer some advice to build my supply back up.. It is an obsession. Truly. I want the best for Hudson, and I know that is my breast milk.

Just a few of the things I have tried; oatmeal every morning for breakfast- which I kid you not, before I got sick ALWAYS did the trick, one bowl of oatmeal and a few hours later I'd be literally "bursting" at the seams needing to pump- Mother's milk organic tea which is meant to help boost milk production and lactation- brewers yeast sprinkled on my food- and sipping wine while I pump (not exactly sure how this one would help but I figured, ah what the heck!) I would try the fenugreek pills but I have a hard enough time getting one mutli-vitamin down daily- I can't bring myself to aiming for 6-9! Slowly but surely my supply is creeping back up.. I just wish it would hurry.

In all honesty, I am pretty heart broken by the fact that nursing didn't properly work out for us... but at the end of the day, I can rest knowing I have given it my all. I have genuinely tried everything that I could. And besides, there are plenty of perfectly healthy babies in the world that have had nothing but formula.. so the occasional bottle here or there isn't the end of the world. I have to be okay with that.

Not sure where this came from or why I felt the need to discuss breast milk with you all but there you have it.. Now you know yet another intimate detail about my life.

Much love and God bless!

Create.

I have come to realize that over the past 6 months I have tried making SO many more things for the first time than I think I ever collectively have in my life. From crafts, to recipes, to mothering.. It's wonderful. I mean, I have always been "crafty" so to speak, and I have always loved cooking, and I suppose you could say I have always had a knack for mothering but I can honestly say I feel like my creative side has found more ways to shine in these past 6 months of my life than I can ever remember... And I thought it might be time to share.

This by no means is a start to a crafting blog or something you can look to for new recipes on a regular basis, I mean, I can almost guarantee you that I will never be capable of making a regular post on any one subject. BUT for now- this will be a first, among probably many more, where I share the different sorts of things I've been up to. Not cause I feel you need advice on how to do stuff.. but mostly cause I'm pretty stoked on the fact that I have done all of this. It's just pretty exciting stuff. And besides, this is my blog, I can do with it what I want ;)

I suppose I'll start with the crafty type things.. I must give credit where it is due- and let me just say- none of these ideas are mine. I tend to see things, get inspired and make something very similar and just have my own personal touch to it. For one, the wreath making thing? My dear friend Ronnin converted our usual Wednesday night ladies Bible Study into a craft night a couple months ago and we all did our best to make some. Using yarn, or twine in my case, and hot glue to make felt flowers. I fell in love with it and decided I needed to expound on that and keep trying to perfect the process..

So- I think for a first attempt it turned out quite nicely! The felt flowers all were nice and easy to figure out, and I just so happened to have a stellar collection of different vintagey looking buttons from my Grandma Button's tin that sat around my parents house for as long as I can remember (not unused of course, I am sure my mom dove into it from time to time). I snagged a good handful when I moved out when I was 18 "just in case." And I am so very glad I did so.. However-- I am afraid I didn't get quite enough for my new found obsession with crafting. So mom, if you're reading this.. I'm comin for ya. I need more buttons ;)

So after realizing a wreath is a fairly easy thing to accomplish I decided to venture a little further into this world of creativity and thought an "H" to hang on our front door would be quite fitting. Rather than felt flowers I thought I'd give lace a try. Plus, it gave me another awesome excuse to go to my favorite store, Hobby Lobby, (for all future references to my "favorite store," please know I am speaking of this glorious establishment) and rummage through their piles and piles of supplies for any possible craft my heart could possibly determine to create. And this is what I came up with..

Not too shabby, right? I'm quite happy with it. I am looking forward to the day I have a house and can actually hang it on my front door.. This day will come sooner than I realize, I am sure. :)

After realizing I could in fact, create things when I put my mind to it, I decided I would hand-make a Valentine's day card for my beloved husband. And something beyond my usual little cut-out of brown paper and some tracing of a silly picture to coincide with whatever occasion might call for a card. (in this household it could be something as simple as "Hooray, You're home from work!") I was gonna get "serious" in this card making business and use top of the line card stock from my favorite store. And by top of the line, I mean their $3.99 bag of "Card stock scraps." That is literally what it is called.. It's a collection of scrap size pieces of different colors of card stock and a few other types of paper. I never quite know what I am wanting when I set out to make things so I figured I would cover all of my bases and get an assortment of colors, types, etc. And once again, I am SO glad I did. Little did I know, this would open the door to making many more cards in the future. I am not even close to running out.

This is the Valentine's day card I made for Nic. I took a picture before I did the writing on the outside, but once again, wow! I made that! Too, too, fun. Oh and if you're wondering what it said.. Well.. It very eloquently had something to do with him getting "nailed." Har har ;P

When I first moved out to KC, my ever artistic roomies, Allyson and Kelly, introduced me into the world of canvas painting, and let me just say, I am NOT an artist. Especially in the light that they are. These girls are amazing while I paint things that would compare to a cartoon. Nothing sophisticated. Just simple. And while I've dabbled here and there with various painting projects (I even wound up painting all of my family members gifts for Christmas the first year I moved out here, bible school kids are broke, k?!... Erm.. sorry again, guys. Haha.) I finally realized the potential for my "simple" style and made some pieces for our home. Once again, thanks to my favorite store and their awesome rotating sales on supplies, these babies were nice and affordable.

See what I mean, they're not professional by any means, but they work and I like them. And as far as what Nic says, he likes them too and that is very important to me :)

And the last thing is something I worked on just this last week.... And will likely tear up and try again. I am not the biggest fan of how these turned out but now that I know how to do it I will be better prepared for the next round :) Super simple. 3 key components.. Tile, paper, and modge podge. A few light coats later and voila! Easy coasters!

I think for now I will cut this off and post recipes and delicious and easy foods to try and such another time.

Cheers, loves!

Long Over-Due

I have been making mental notes over the past 6 weeks about all of the things I wanted to write about, and at this point it would be similar to typing out a doctoral dissertation. Not exactly all on the same topic but the length would certainly be comparable. I just have not found the time to sit down and type any of them out! I'm just gonna see what all I can get out before my sidekick wakes from his nap.

For one, I feel incredibly blessed. I know I say this a lot but it is ever more true with each passing day. I have a wonderful life. My husband takes such good care of me and our son, my son is becoming more and more dear to my heart with every little smirk and sound, and I have a Heavenly Father who is always leading, never forsaking, and loves us so well. And on top of all of that- we have amazing friends and family to share all of this with.

I've kept everyone up with all of our musings about whether we would be moving, or staying, or just remaining in a state of uncertainty and let me just tell you- I am so very pleased to say we have found our answer. We.. are.. STAYING in Kansas City! For now at least, and likely the next couple of years. We truly believe the Lord is calling us to really hunker down (is that a real expression? It just came out so easily.. I feel like its gotta be..) and lock in with our church as they are preparing to move forward. We knew when the Boehne's introduced us last spring that there was something special about the church and it was the first time we had really felt "home" in a church in a while. Their hearts for this city are so genuine and so very passionate about Jesus. The leadership our pastor's have already had in our lives is astounding and we are loving forming bonds with all of the people there. We just can't hardly wait to see what the Lord has in store. CreativeCommunity.tv is where our hearts are and we are so grateful to finally have a sense of peace regarding our whereabouts.. I can finally start planning for our future here. Look for houses.. decorate rather than just set up as though in preparation to just be packing it all up or selling it in the next few months. It feels great.

Along with that decision came a bit of a surprise, our little sister, Natasha, has decided she wants to get out of Cali and have a change of pace. Nic is going to get her a job at one of the hotels he is at and she is going to live with us! Which means-- we may be staying in KC but we gotta get a bigger place. So hopefully that means we an find a nice lil' house to move into this Summer. I can't hardly wait to get her out here. I am so looking forward to getting to know her better :)

Have you ever sat down and written a heartfelt letter, possibly even an angry letter, sealed it up, went as far as putting a stamp on it and just left if on the counter top? Unsent. So many words that needed to get out... and yet, no one, not even the one intended may ever read it? I have one brewing in my heart and in my mind that I feel needs to be hashed out. I know I will never send it.. Simply because I don't think any good would come of it. But I think writing is theraputic. Or at least it is for me. There's something so very freeing about finally getting all the words out that you wish you could say, or would have said, or even what you are feeling- no matter how rational those feelings may be. Yep. I'm gonna do it. If I can find the time. I really am in need of getting some thoughts out. FAR too personal to hammer out on a blog, of course. I was just curious to know if anyone else in the world ever sets out writing letters knowing they more than likely won't even get it past the envelope licking stage.

It has been quite a LONG time since I posted anything... I went from 4 in a month to NONE in Feb and now we're nearly half way through with March and I am just getting to my first one. And I feel like I am rambling. I had SO much I wanted to say and now I am forgetting it all. I guess it's true what they say... Breastfeeding brain is 10x worse than pregnant brain. (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Anything to get me through the day, right?)

Among other crazy happenings in our lives, the one that stands out the most as of late is the most recent "drama" to unfold. And I say "drama" simply because I am sure that if our lives were ever made into a movie, this would be one of the really intense scenes that get people really wrapped into the story... And it goes a little something like this; Nic spent an entire 5 day period in the hospital last week for a throat condition that he has had for years (5 ish if you're interested in the nitty gritty details.) Since I have known him I had never seen it this bad. He has a really tough time with eating, not the chewing or swallowing, its once that has taken place that the problem begins to rear its ugly head. Food and beverage alike get, for lack of better word, stuck, right before it makes it to his stomach. And then to top it off he gets intense spasms in his esophagus and chest, comparable to a heart attack in terms of pain and location. And then because of this he usually winds up having to throw up. Sometimes the pressure will release itself and he will be able to continue eating at a very slow pace and sometimes it will lock up for days not allowing anything to pass. Anyways, we went in to the ER on Friday in hopes of them providing some sort of quick fix because it had come to day 8 of him not being able to eat or drink anything and we had never reached that point before. 4 days was about as long as his throat "lockdowns" had ever lasted. Well after some poking, prodding, questioning, and puzzled looks from everyone, the medical team decided to admit him for the weekend. They ran a range of tests from simple chest x-rays to a barium swallow test and a CT scan. All non-conclusive as to what the real problem was. However, the barium swallow test did indicate some motility issues with the muscles in his esophagus. Rather than working like a wave to push the food down it sporadically pushes up and down, which they're thinking has a lot to do with his problem but doesn't necessarily mean it is the root of the issue. SO on Monday they took him in for an EGD. What could be considered a "minor" surgery, but STILL, my heart was weary. They were able to dilate his throat to 12mm which is not to it's full potential but definitely a step up from the 1-2mm it was prior to the dilation. He has been able to eat since Monday night and we are beyond grateful for that. We still walked away from the hospital with more questions than we had answers, but we know that his team of doctors are motivated to find a solution. He is scheduled for a follow-up procedure in April to rule out any auto-immune diseases and things of that nature. Until then they have him on a double dosage of medicine for acid reflux. Prayers are always appreciated.. I would love for Nic to have a miraculous healing and for his throat and esophagus to be completely healthy and to function to their full potential! I know we serve a God strong enough to heal my husband of this ailment. We are far too young to already be in and out of a hospital like this.

While on the topic- Hudson did GREAT while I took him back and forth between home and hospital. And we even had some help from wonderful friends of ours- the Bailey's took him while we were at the ER and Ms. Amy G took him for us the day Nic had his surgery. He was a great sport and I am ever thankful that we have been blessed with good days to outweigh the bad :)