Days Away

Although my faith in mankind has mostly been restored I'm still in a bit of a pickle. My heart is absolutey torn between two completely contrasting ideas.. Please keep me in your prayers- I need to find clarity ASAP.

I'm about a week from moving away from Albuquerque and the reality has yet to fully set in. I realize that alot of the people that I am seeing now won't be there for me to hang out with 2 weeks from now- I may never see some of these people ever again and that is an all too strange feeling. Also, I've begun the laborious task of packing up and let me just say- my closet full of clothes and shoes have taken up 8 boxes- and thats just the beginning.. I sure hope that my new place has a big closet!! Haha.

Speaking of new places- I thought I had a house secured- I sent in my security deposit- everything- only problem is that when I was reading through the lease it very discreetly mentions NO PETS. Uhmmm.. I have 2 babies that MUST make it to KC with me so I'm not really sure what to do about this. God knows whats going on and I know He will show me what to do.. He has gotten me this far and I know He won't let me down. He knows what I need.. Its just around the corner, yeah?

My best friend left today to go pick up her booshkey- he's been in Iraq for 3 months and comes home today! Well- comes to Denver.. and then home. I am very excited for her tho! This will be a really great day for her, probably a day she will never forget. I'm a bit worried that the Kris and Mandi hang out time has officially ended 'cause I dont really know when she gets back and I leave on Friday. Pthhhhhh...I won't lie, that pretty much breaks my heart.. I'm not really sure what to do about that lady.. I feel like we're growing apart and I think it may be on purpose.. ya know? To make it less hard when I leave? I dunno.

Anyhow- I should probably be doing something productive.. Like packing... yeah.

Love always-

Thoughts for Food.

Sooo wow.. just when you think you know someone.. just when you think you've figured everything out.. just when it really feels "right"... just when you decide that this crazy "Plan B" idea is truly that, crazy... a Mac truck drives with full force towards your head and makes no indication of slowing..

What the hell?

What is so hard about being honest? What is so hard about sharing things that if NOT shared could be a breaking point??

Here are a few things I will never understand:
1. How it is so easy to go from being 100% to feeling like throwing in the towel all within a matter of seconds. This can't be a good sign. No?
2. Why people can't say what it is that they ACTUALLY mean to say. I understand needing a bit of time to gather your thoughts, but if your gonna break someone's heart, you better do so eloquently.
3. Men.

Good Lord, I need some help. Theres a knot in my throat the size of a grapefruit and I have a feeling its gonna break loose here in the next few moments.

I honestly don't know what to do right now. I don't know how to handle this- which is something I am not very accustomed to. People come to ME for answers and I usually have them. Only now, in the midst of my struggle, I've got nothin. I'm coming up pretty empty handed. This is incredibly difficult.

This gives my crazy "Plan B" idea much more foundation to stand on. Maybe I should just go for it?

So sorry for being quite vague. We'll see how much I can share in the near future.

Firecracker

I have spent the past month consumed with all that is fireworks. Being in the office preparing for tents all over New Mexico to open, running 2 tents with Jake and just finished up the return center today! Needless to say- I am a bit exhausted. However- tomorrow my family (including significant others and our cousin, Brandon) is eading up to our cabin for some much needed R&R! To top that we get to take Patricks boat to the lake nearby! Woo yeah! I'm gonna be so tan its not even funny.

I am moving away from my home in less than a month and I find that to be very unsettling. I don't understand why- but this move that used to make me BEYOND excited is suddenly making me want to pass out with unwanted anxiety. I have yet to find a place to live and I am needin some help from my Heavenly Father. I can't be in control of everything all of the time- haven't I said that before? I feel like that will definitely be a lifelong struggle. Haha. Its a good thing I can realize that I am human!

I am pretty tired and I still need to pack- but I realized that it had been a while since I wrote on here so I needed to drop by and say hello. Sooooo...



Hey!


Oh yeah and PS- My birthday is on the 20th! What are YOU getting me?? Lol. Just joking :)