Life comes at you fast, doesn't it?

I'm not even going to pretend that it shocks me that I haven't updated in a few weeks. My life was already busy and random and that has certainly not changed at all with the arrival of our precious son.

Yet another holiday has come and gone and it definitely was a good one! Christmas is a very special time of year... and although it was sad to not be with family our hearts were still filled with joy and we were overcome with the love of our Father. We have spent the past few years a little too "poor" to get gifts for friends or family but we made it a priority to cover our families (all 18 of them!) before we even thought about each others gifts. And we stayed true to that! And I am fully convinced that the Lord honored us for that! Nic had a very unexpected "big" weekend at the bar and we were thankfully able to go shopping for Hudson and each other. SUCH a blessing.

We have been so very lucky to make some wonderful friends while in Kansas City. Most of which have become more-like mentors to us than anything. The majority of the people we would consider to be "peers" have all left in these past few months and it is getting tougher and tougher to say good-bye. When moving here to become a part of IHOP we both were well aware of the fact that many people only come to stay for a few years before branching out to bigger and better things.. But knowing that beforehand hasn't really made things any easier. Although many have left we do still have such wonderful friends still remaining in Kansas City. And the holiday season has made us even more aware of this fact.

We have found ourselves at home in Kansas City for nearly 2 1/2 years now and we both are feeling that our time here is drawing to an end. Chances are, by June of this next year, we will be calling a different part of the country (or can't deny the possibility.. world) our home. It is an exciting feeling and also somewhat intimidating. Who knows where we might end up!? Only God does at this point. We have been immensely blessed during our time here and the Lord has never ceased to provide and keep us on our feet! But we are becoming restless. It is time to move on, break out of our little comfort zone and see what opportunities the Lord has for us!

Our little sister, Melissa, was here in town around Thanksgiving and stayed for 2 1/2 weeks! She is definitely a "baby whisperer" and had the magic touch when it came to calming our colicky baby. I genuinely enjoyed every moment of her visit! It was great to have some time to get to know her better and it was WAY fun to celebrate her 18th birthday while she was here, as well. Hopefully the rest of our siblings will find a way to make it out here in the next few months before we jet off to some other place!

I'm amazed that Hudson is already 3 months old.. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting here pounding away on my laptop, frustrated that I was still pregnant, and that he still wasn't here. And now I have a 15lb hunk of burning love napping on the couch. Let it be said that I feel that I may have THE strongest 3 month old ever. He stands up already, not entirely on his own but he is WAY close- and he already as the "scoot" down that is the prelude to the much anticipated crawl. Crazy. Also, not to brag or anything, but this kid sleeps like a champ. Typically 8-10 hour stretches overnight. We even got 12 hours a few nights ago, course he woke up at 9 for a top off feeding, but then crashed for another 3 hours. Thank you, Jesus. I feel blessed.

Wanna know what I haven't complained about in a while? My weight.

Guess what I am still not gonna complain about.... My weight!

I know, I know... I'm growing up.

Until next time, (Let's not kid ourselves.. It's likely gonna be about 2-3 weeks before the next check in) much love and God bless!

Pizza on a muffin.

Yep.. I definitely need to go grocery shopping. I found myself getting very creative tonight! Leftover spaghetti sauce, cheese and pepperonis on an English muffin that was a tad on the stale side. Once it all broiled for a bit in the over it turned out to be quite good.. I've gotta remember that one for when little man is old enough to eat "grown up food." I mean, that must be better for you than a regular pizza right? Or at least that is what I am going to keep telling myself ;)

I spend half of my week cooking for just myself so I never really think about keeping much food around except for the nights Nic is home and I get to make a big dinner.. Cooking and baking is a love of mine! I have so much fun trying to get fancy pants or playing it safe and cooking some classics (i.e. homemade chicken pot pie- yum!) I can't wait to be that mom that always has fresh, albeit healthy, baked goods always on the counter ready for consumption! I've always wondered what I would study if I did ever wind up going back to school to get a degree... I think Nutrition would be a really cool field to look into. It's pretty fascinating. I LOVE making fantastic foods that are sneakily very good for you.. Hmmmm..

That, or hair school ;)

Thanksgiving has already come and gone and I just cannot seem to get into the holiday swing of things! It all has gone by so quickly.. It's amazing to me how time just literally flies by! I mean, it isn't an over-used saying for nothing. I am already looking at my precious (almost!) 3 month old wondering where the time went... It was just yesterday that I was bringing him home in a tiny little bundle... And now here I am with a 14lber who gets closer and closer to sitting up on his own every day.. Wow!

Being a mom is just amazing. God is so so good to me... I continually pray for guidance and wisdom to be a better mom.. I know this is only the beginning but I am truly loving it. I met my very first "mom friend" tonight, we met up for some yummy chai and chat and let me say, I am absolutely thrilled! It is so nice to finally have a friend I can relate to. She is wonderful and she has the most precious chunky 4 month old little boy.. Hopefully Hudsy and him can become great friends!

Talk of Nic, Hudson and I moving to New Zealand is becoming quite the frequent topic and I would be lying if I said I wasn't having a hard time with it! In theory it is all just too good to be true... but the thought of leaving my family behind is just gut-wrenching... I think I am gonna just have to pray this one out. Yep.

I am quite jumbled tonight, eh? I gues I don't really have a very clear thought pattern at the moment! Sooo.. yeah. I think that should be all for tonight.

:)

Must. Stop. Snacking.

"He put a new song in my mouth and a crown upon my head- He gave me life forever more."

I sit down to write this with coffee in hand, a napping baby and a song upon my heart. I am absolutely joyful this afternoon and it feels great.

I was thinking about what to write and perusing the stream of status updates on facebook and I got to thinking.. I know I touched on it in my last post but really, we are an incredibly blessed people in this country and it is far too often that we are quick to complain. Quick to spread the depressing undertones of what our daily mundane life may include.Quick to grumble about being bored, not having motivation to go for that run we've been promising ourselves for weeks that we would go on, about our friends blowing us off... I know I am not completely innocent of this! Even since my wonderful son has been born I know I have posted a few things about being overly tired- or stressed because of his screaming. It's very easy feel sorry for yourself when you lose sight of what it is you truly are living for. More so, Who we are meant to be living for.

The truth is- life is hard.

It is most definitely tough and it likes to give us a beating from time to time. Friendships are going to be broken, families will fight, bosses will be unfair, and I can assure you- terrible drivers WILL cut you off on your way around town. Heartache and frustration are inescapable in this life.

The bigger truth is that life is beautiful. And we are so blessed.

I think we, as a whole, tend to forget to mark the moments that we genuinely feel great- overwhelmed with joy- happy- content-loved- really just any positive feeling. Instead we just flood our "feed" with a well thought out stab to whatever has just happened to you or whoever upset you or a well-versed description of the crippling sadness that has overwhelmed your heart.

Our world has become increasingly quick. Quick in communication, we have an endless supply of social networks where we with the click of a button can relay any information that we deem important to share with our world of "followers" or "friends." Or just anyone willing to read them, really.

I want to break this trend. Or more-so rise above it.

I genuinely want to put forth an effort to only allow positive remarks to come from my mouth. To escape from my quickly moving fingers while I type on my laptop or cell phone. It's an early New Year's Resolution, I suppose.

I know I get sick of reading such foul posts, such negative remarks. I can't be the only one. I'm not talking about genuinely tough days- I understand that a quick status update can be a great way to vent about a hard day or situation. But c'mon- everytime it rains I feel like the majority or everyone has something negative to say about it. Every single Sunday night is bound to have countless complaints stating the dread for the upcoming Monday morning to be faced. How about being grateful for the gift?! Being grateful that you aren't somewhere that it never rains and are in constant danger of wildfires? Grateful to have a JOB to get to that funds the ridiculous weekend you had that is what is leaving you so sleepy in the first place?! I mean I know that's probably a terrible example but you catch my drift.

So aside from my usual New Year's Resolution to "eat better"- I am going to include positivity. Daily. NO matter what.

With Thanksgiving fast approaching I see people all over facebook, instagram and other social networks posting things they are thankful for.. Be it sentimental or something not so meaningful like chai latte's or shopping sprees. No matter what it is they post, it is quite refreshing to have the constant stream of positive comments and cheery explanations about why they are so thankful. I'd much rather read these sorts of posts over the usual complaints about it being "Monday," or having a tough day cause "no one will text me.." It's a nice reminder that we, especially if we even have the means to access something like facebook to complain on, truly have SO much to be thankful for.

Forget this "we are the 99%" crap for one moment and look at how lucky we are to be in America. To have a roof over our heads. Plenty of food to eat. And yes, corporations that supply any possible "need" someone could muster up. I won't get started on all that.. cause there are a few of their arguments I agree with but mostly I just want them to shut up. :)

Among all the things I could possibly point out in my life that I feel blessed to have the biggest would be, of course, my Lord and Savior. I would be so very lost and so very messed up without His continual guidance and love. The close second would, duh, be my wonderful husband Nic. I love him so very very much and without him I would be a very sad individual. Is so many more ways than one. Next would obviously be my wonderful little son, Hudson, who is currently napping, which I am also very thankful for. And after that would come my wonderful family and friends. One of whom are currently visiting! My beautiful friend, Amanda, is here from Tucson for a long weekend and I have just loved spending time with her! Its crazy to think that just over 2 years ago we were still living together.. My how time flies and how quickly things can change.

It's a beautiful thing when the Lord allows certain people to be a part of your life for a long time.. Beyond my family member she is one of the few people I have known for a big portion of my life (we've been nearly inseparable for 7 years!) She is just wonderful and I am so blessed that she has stuck around, seen me through some funny and awkward phases, stood with me as my maid of honor, and is here today rocking my son to sleep.

WOW. I am blessed. :)

This is my life. Consumed.

Wow.

My life since the last post has been a whirlwind beyond compare to anything I have ever experienced in my life. I have been so surprised at how this new role as "mum" has consumed me. I used to judge mom's who couldn't keep their homes in order, who hardly got out of pj's before the afternoon hours, etc. The truth is, at Hudson's age , my life is everything but my own! I jokingly compare it to being held hostage in my own home by a very tiny little man who's only tactic is to cry and feed incessantly. I have somehow been blessed with a quiet morning with a sleeping infant and a clean house.. this is the first time this has happened since our little man has entered this world.

This new man in my life was born September 15th to a very tired mum and dad, weighing in at 7lbs 1oz, 19 inches long.. and suddenly consuming our world. I had a long and tough 58 hours of labor but it was all worth it once I got to hold that tiny little body in my arms. I can remember the very moment he was born.. I was terrified! I actually closed my eyes in disbelief and couldn't bring myself to open them until I heard his first wee cry. I couldn't believe that he had finally arrived- my pregnancy was over- I now had a SON- I'm a mom- I have a life that depends on my entirely-- it was overwhelming beyond description.

Suffice to say, this new role has totally consumed me. There is no better word.

Consume. To destroy or expend by use; use up.

I, of course, mean this in the best way- I am by no means complaining about this. I love this life! It has just been surprising how much has been not even remotely what I was expecting.

There are now 3 men in my life that demand total and complete consumption, dedication, essentially- a surrendering of all that I am unto them. My Lord, my husband and now, my son. It's a big of a tall order, but each one helps me to take care of the next... It's a pretty neat "hierarchy." Sounds strange I am sure- so I will explain. My Heavenly Father alone can give me the strength, wisdom, patience, provision, balance, grace and mercy to be a good wife and mom. (not to mention the fact that he GAVE me both of these men in my life.. such an incredible gift) My husband encourages me, strengthens me, loves me and works to provide the means to take care of our son. It's a pretty sweet deal. God is just so good.

Nic has taken up a second job bar-tending at the downtown Hilton here in KC. We both had expected to be met with adverse opinions about this, considering the fact that we are God-fearing Christians, not to mention worship leaders at our local church... But we have been pleasantly surprised that most have totally supported the change. In fact, they applaud it! The beautiful thing about it is that Nic has an opportunity every single time he walks into that bar to meet people where they are at. No judgement. No preconceived notions. He gets to minister the love of God in the most unlikely of places- and whats more- share his testimony. A testimony that stirs hearts to move. stirs hearts to love God. People tend to get very chatty with their bartender and quite frankly, they're extremely shocked to hear about a young married man, with a brand new son, who loves the Lord, and is always looking to Him for direction and guidance. It's a beautiful thing. I get to stay at home with Hudson, and Nic works hard and gets to share about our Father. I am just so very proud of my wonderful husband.

It's about that time...

In case you were unaware, today is my "official" due date.

I say that because it was the very first due date they gave me. Then it got switched to the 8th. And then the 15th. And then back to the 8th. And then at my last ultrasound at 37 weeks they estimated the 4th. So I gave up and picked the 6th. Of course, at first I picked the 4th cause it was the closest. But he obviously didn't arrive that day... and if he doesn't come today then the 8th it is (and so on..)

My mom has been in town a tad over a week now and I am beginning to feel guilty. In my mind she's here to get to see the baby and spend time with him. And I just hate that her time here is drawing to an end (okay-- there's still 2 weeks left..) and she is yet to get to meet her grandson... But I seem to forget that I am her baby and she's really here to spend time with me as a prep for the arrival of my baby. What a fun lil' realization. Sweet. Precious.

I know I need to be more appreciative of this time we have together. After all, this is likely to be some of the last moments we will get to spend babyless- at least for a while, I suppose. I dunno. I truly am unsure of what to expect from this whole motherhood thing. I am sure it will all take me by surprise, no matter how confident I am feeling in this moment.

I took a bit of a step of faith and had a root canal scheduled for today (ahem, my due date-- keep up now) and I must say, I am very glad I am getting this little portion of my to-do list taken care of. Once Hudson is here I really don't think I will be wanting to spend much time away from him, much less taking care of monotonous tasks like dental appointments. I tell you what, you can floss, brush, and rinse all you want but if your genes aren't truly spectacular there is NOTHING you can do to keep yourself from getting cavities and needing things like root canals. It's so very frustrating. I am what could be considered a dental hygiene freak and still, my teeth chose to betray me. Every time I go in for a cleaning something else needs to be done.. or in this case an old filling actually fell out and cause my tooth to become infected. So so very sad. And also, extremely painful. Happy, happy, joy, joy- right? :)

The flood of "Is baby here, yet?" texts and messages have began and I would be lying if I said I get a little sad, a little heartsick even, every time I have to respond-- "Not yet! Still patiently waiting.." What's worse are seeing other mommies with similar due dates to mine already having had their babies, and getting to spend time with them and hold them.. I just want it to be my turn already! I don't feel like that is too much to ask.. It's been a long 40 weeks and I am just ready. There are no other words to express.

In other news, my wonderful hubby is still on the job hunt for some added income to support our family. I don't think we quite realized what the initial shock of losing my income would feel like.. But I can definitely say it isn't a comfortable one. Ultimately, we rely on the Lord for our provision, we know that HE is our source and will supply all of our needs. And from the start He has never left us high and dry- we have never gone hungry- and have only been late on rent once. He's got a pretty great track record of keeping our lil' family in tact. If you think of it, do keep us in your prayers.

I believe that is all for now.. Until next time :)

"I'm comin' home.."

Ah, yes. These are the words that I love to here or see the MOST.

It means my wonderful husband is soon to arrive and our little family will be complete again.

I've been settling into the world of "housewife" over the past couple of weeks and I am soon to add "stay at home mom" to the mix.. It is a dream come true. I absolutely love it. I finally feel like our house is becoming our home and there is much less "stuff" just hanging around needing a place to live. It is quite a good feeling.

In baby news, well.. Hudson is still on his way. Assuming I have simply made the most wonderful home for him in there, he is just not wanting to leave yet. Try as I may- he won't budge from that perfectly lodged space he has found right between my pelvic bones. But you can believe me when I say, nothing is going to stop me from trying to speed his arrival until I am holding that precious little being in my arms. God is just so so good- and I know He has the PERFECT day chosen for my little man to make his grand entrance. And I had better just be patient until that day arrives.

My mom got into town earlier this week to help prepare for her first grandson (first grandchild as a matter of fact) and it has just been a splendid treat! We have had adventures both big and small and are ultimately just getting to hang around and enjoy some time together as mom and daughter. Very fun and endearing.

I'd say the adventure that stands out in my mind the most thus far is one that happened just a few short hours ago.. My mom is working on a pearl necklace for my soon to be sister-in-law, as she has made each of us Mullaney girls a special peal necklace for our wedding day. She needed to different kind of clasp than the one she brought so, of course, we take to our cell phones and search out the nearest Hobby Lobby to where we live. There was one just about 15 minutes away and with only a couple of hours until Nic needed to leave for rugby practice we decided to make a break for it and head out so we would arrive back home with plenty of time for Nic to make it to rugby practice. Nic stayed back at the apartment with a friend of ours, TJ, and my mom and I ventured to Independence, MO to find the desired jewelry piece. Within minutes of leaving our building and driving away, both my mom and I realize we had left our beloved cell phones on the kitchen counter.

"No big deal- we're just going to be gone an hour or so."

There are 2 HUGE things wrong with that statement. First being mostly due to the fact that I am 39 weeks pregnant and "just an hour" without a cell phone could mean the difference between my husband being present for Hudson's birth or not, and also because I am pretty sure the Holy Spirit prompted us to go back to get them because of the grand adventure that was soon to take place... And I was just too lazy to heed the warning. Bad prego!

We got to Hobby Lobby without an issue at all and were even headed back home, the sign said we were only 5 minutes from downtown and we were zooming along like no big deal. Annnd then it happened. Big ol' flat tire. Which shouldn't have been that big of a deal, considering the fact that both my mom and I are perfectly capable of changing a tire and it maybe would have only taken 10 minutes for us to complete the task. However, just over a week ago we had a different tire blow and we hadn't had the chance to replace it quite yet.. SO our spare was already in use. And we were cell phone less. Which made contacting Nic or roadside assistance or ANYONE a bit on the impossible side.

So after sitting on the side of the freeway while hundreds of cars flew past (not to mention 3 cops.. thanks a lot guys..) for almost 20 minutes my mom decides she's gonna hoof it down the road to find somewhere/someone to call Nic so he could come help us. This is my sweet, 5'2" mother, walking along I-70 while 6 o'clock traffic is well underway. Needless to say- I was pretty stressed out. About 15 minutes after my mom left an emergency motorist assistance vehicle pulls up behind me and casually lets me know that I'm on camera and that he had been dispatched to come help. Which.. had we not been in the situation we were I probably would have been a bit peeved over the fact that this entire country is under video surveillance but for the time being it actually helped us. Anyways-- I suppose I am making this much longer of a story than it should be.. but 2 1/2 hours, $112 and a new friend named Bernie later, Nic was late to rugby but we got that tire replaced. Who knew they could gouge you so well when you desperately need a new tire?! Irritating to say the least but we had no other choice.

The Lord is certainly wanting our full attention and trust when it comes to provision--we get to really rely on Him nowadays with just one income and its scary but definitely faith building. GOd is good :)

Sunflowers.

I have a lovely bunch of sunflowers sitting on the window sill that just make me smile. They were a gift from my wonderful friends at work for my 22nd birthday a little over a week ago..they're starting to lose their petals and have lost the upright position they were once in and I just can't bring myself to throw them out. I just love them. My friends. Well, and the flowers of course.. But what I mean to say- is that it truly is a wonderful little sentiment. A little reminder that even in these short 8 months of working at the office I have made some of the sweetest, most real friends- I ever had truly come to love the little core group of girls there. Wanna know the best part about it?

Not a single one of them is fake. Not a single one of them has ever tried to put on some sort of facade to be anyone but themselves to me. Every one of them has always been 100% real with me and I find that so refreshing. None of them try to pretend that they are anything that they are not.. and so of course that leads to a few bumping of heads, a few "let's learn how to say that without an f' bomb," and a few times of me leaving the conversation for complete lack of anything to contribute or just being left speechless. They don't censor who they are.. and I don't censor who I am. They all get an earful about my baby boy & husband, about Jesus, my random church stories and walk with God... And I get an earful of their drinking stories, nights out, life stories, dating lives, etc. It's pretty hilarious but it goes to prove that you don't have to be the same as someone else to get along, be friends and ultimately really care for one another. Chances are, they'd be the first to stand up for me if my character ever came into question, and I know I'd do the same for them. I see them all for who they really are and the amount of partying, dating, sleeping around, or whatever that they do doesn't define them.. It's just what they do. They're wonderful, beautiful, sweet girls and I love each and every one of them. It is going to be sad when I have to leave them.. I will really miss getting to see all of them every day. Friends can fit in to a mommy's lifestyle and I intend to make sure that happens because I know that what the Lord has for me is really, really, great.. And I don't plan on giving it up for anything. Stay at home mum, here I come.

I cannot believe that somewhere around 6 weeks from now I will have a little guy in my arms. It is so crazy to realize that this is the homestretch.. I mean, really. We're in for it. My life is about to change radically.. and I have no idea what to expect. But I do know that I am endlessly excited.

You are bringing forth a song from my heart..

I am blessed. I know this every morning when I roll over and see my handsome husband sleeping peacefully, when I feel my dear baby boy kick, when I even for a moment think about anything my Lord has done for me. For us.

I have a soon coming "last day" of work and believe me, I am counting down like no one's business. My wonderful hubby always tells me, "You should just quit today!Come home and rest. I won't mind." And I won't lie.. It is very tempting. But I know that it would only take about two weeks for me to get sick of it. I will have obsessively cleaned the house 10x over, reorganized anything possible and cooked random extravagant meals that I don't typically have time or energy to do since I work full-time and still I'd feel like something was missing. I know exactly what it is, too... I'm not just meant to be a housewife. I'm meant to be a stay at home mum. I can't wait for this little man to make his way from my belly to our arms... 8 weeks or so and I'll get to show him off.

The Lord has done some amazing things in our lives and hearts and is continuing to do so daily. It's amazing how much softer I have become.. I've always been a fairly "soft hearted" person, easily moved, a cryer (ok a weeper...) when I encounter things in life that are sad, hurtful or even inspirational. But I have definitely moved from just a soft-heart person to absolute mush.. And I can only imagine it will become more-so when Hudson makes his debut.

When we first found that we were pregnant I panicked. I got selfish real quick. I couldn't believe our "plan" had crumbled so quickly! I was terrified more than anything... And even now, not even the full 9 months later, I am so ashamed of how I felt. I know I have a lot to learn and I feel like the Lord's precious gift is only the beginning of the lesson's I am to learn.

I am constantly moved by the presence of the Lord and His amazing love for us. It's overwhelming. It's truly life changing and I feel like I have that change daily. It becomes more and more real to me every day and I am so grateful for that. I pray that I can communicate that love with people I encounter if even on a minuscule level.. I want the revelation to be real for everyone around me.

It's kinda funny how the Lord does things.. Last summer, for my birthday, I ventured into the world of tattoos. My fiance (now hubby) was a bit of a tattoo man and I knew I always wanted to get something tattooed on me but I didn't want it to just be anything. I mean.. If it was going to be on my body it needed to be legit. Something that would resonate and mean something to me when I'm 60 and trying to talk my grandkids out of getting tattoos. I spent the better part of my first year here in KC studying my bible and learning about the original languages the bible was written in. And I decided Hebrew was the way to go. I love the language. I love the way it looks, the way it sounds, all of it. Anyhow- I decided on Hebrew inscriptions tattooed on my wrists. I knew I wanted them to be meaningful, to be somewhat of a "conversation starter," and its amazing what the Lord gave me to write. Even today, I find it more and more true to my heart.

This morning, while I stood in the upstairs kitchen perfecting my bowl of oatmeal, a girl at my work asked what they mean (a fav question of mine to answer, by the way) and even just speaking it out convicted me. I have 2 very simple phrases but they are so deep when you look into them.. On my right, I have "I am not my own." Or directly translated, "I do not belong to me." And on my left, I have a fairly descriptive translation of the Greek word agape, its a sacrificial love, and directly translated into Hebrew it means, "victim of love." This one unfolds itself over and over to me.

God pours His love over us in such vast amounts that we literally become victims of His love! We cannot even fully comprehend how much love He has for us. I just find that amazing.

I cannot wait to see where the Lord is taking us.. what He has in store for our lil' family... I am just so very thankful to have my Savior guiding me, my husband leading us, and a family to lean on during this exciting time.

Sometimes...

I have plenty of things to write about buuut.. I hang out with my husband instead :)

Ever since rugby season ended about a month ago I no longer have 2 nights at home to myself (my usual sit-down and blog sorta nights..) so the blog has gone to the wayside...

But now summer season is in swing and this means 2 nights a week alone at home again.

OK.

I feel like this one won't get as much attention as my usual ones.. due to my inept lack of focus as of late. I would swear I am losing it if I didn't know there was at least a "hormonal" reason for my forgetfulness (or at least that is what I am chosing to believe.) I am so not usually this way.. Its kind of funny how much can happen in a few weeks time and still not much has actually changed..

Like we went to Austin for a nice long weekend trip, full of rugby games which was awesome, but my favorite part? Visiting family. I hadn't seen most of those cousins in over 4 years.. Which if you know anything about my life in the past 4 years its that EVERY little thing that could possibly be different is now different. My braces are gone, I am no longer in high-school (or college for that matter), I am living in KC, married, and not to mention the tiny little man growing in my belly :) Even my walk with the Lord has drastically changed over the course of the past few years. I have always known who Jesus was, I have always believed in God, but truly lived for Him? Not til recently. And boy, am I ever glad He sent me to Kansas City.

There has been an immense presence of restlessness in Nic and I when it comes to remaining in KC. We both know there was a purpose for us meeting here, but are entirely unsure of whether or not our connection to KC goes any deeper than that.. We have been in the waiting process of finding out about Nic getting into the KCMO fire department for the better part of the 2 years we have known each other, and it feels like we haven't made any headway. Its like every time we think we take a step forward it comes with a 2 month long "wait" price tag. So not what we were thinking.. Its enough to make us question if it is the Lords helpful way of trying to get us to move on or if it is truly just a waiting period where we need to accept the fact that we can't always know the "right now." Needless to say, this is the one remaining thing in our 5 year plan that we had mapped out at the beginning of our marriage. Haha... It will be interesting to find if we had any of it right.

We just have so many dreams. SO many places we want to venture to. And places we want to live. Cities we want to visit. Songs we have yet to write that need to be sung. And yet, we're finding ourselves sorta in a standstill. And, like I said, we are feeling restless.

I wouldn't put it past us to just up and leave one day.

As for Hudson, he is doing very well. No complaints here! 26 weeks on Thursday.. That means big 3rd trimester is just around the corner and before I know it, I will we typing these in the middle of the night while trying to rock a baby to sleep :)

Can't hardly wait.

Oh to be voiceless...

I'm going back and forth between wanting something warm on my throat to just wanting to suck on like a dozen Otter Pops.. Its crazy how quickly I went from having a voice and feeling great to coughing up junk from my lungs, sneezing and hardly being able to speak without feeling like my throat is on fire.

As my wonderfully cute hubby puts it, apparently my nose is pouring lava down my throat. Haha. We were SO made for each other, while no one else may laugh at that I find it to be one of the most hilarious things I have ever heard. Its fantastic.

Anyways- not having a voice, or much of one rather, has given me a lot more time to think than usual. I spend MUCH less time talking when I would much rather guard my throat from the pain of it all. Aside from answering the phones all day (which okay, is basically my job in its entirety) I have been doing my best to remain silent, I even abstained from my usual cheery greetings to everyone who passes by my desk. By about noon, people were literally stopping by to check and see if I was okay cause I wasn't my "usual" self.

All this got me thinking was WOW, I really do just talk and talk and talk. People expect me to at least SAY something when they walk past. Sure, its usually pleasantries or the occasional visit from a friend where I try my best to give sound advice about the most recent office drama, but still, the moment I shut up it goes FAR from being unnoticed. Its not like I still didn't have a genuine smile plastered to my face all day- I just went without speaking as much as possible! Its just a little strange to think I guess..

In other news, we have added yet another number to our growing family.. Her name is Fiddle and she is the brand new kitten playmate/sister for our sweet little kitty Banjo. At first there was a little bit of resistance on Banjo's part. Sheer jealousy, I'm sure. But now, as I type this there is an ever-ringing sound of their little bells jingling all over the house while they wrestle and play. They even curled up on Banjo's bed and cuddled for a few hours this afternoon. Precious, I tell you.

Also- Mr Hudson Lee is growing ever so well and he continually kicks to remind me of his growing stature. I am 22 weeks today which makes him just over a pound and 8.5 inches long. Ahh! Apparently, his weight is gonna more than double in the next few weeks, which of course, has me worriedly looking towards my closet. But I am so totally excited about each and every step of this process and I am doing my very best to never question the number on the scale. Unless, of course, its in gargantuan proportion to my last weigh in.

I believe that is it for now.. Farewell, and goodnight :)

God has an incredible sense of humor...

... I mean- you obsess and stress about losing weight and finally getting back to a place where you're comfortable in your own skin, especially for your wedding day and then ya go and get yourself knocked up! I just find it funny! Truly. No cynicism, I know its all the Lord's doing and I know He's gotta be teaching me some sort of lesson here. While at the same time giving me the most precious gift imaginable.

I can't be the first first-time prego to step on a scale in utter disbelief of the number that lies before her... I just know I can't be. I literally cringe every time I walk past that scale, muchless remind myself that its my duty to keep track of how quickly that number grows. As I have come to accept more and more that skinny is not "in" when growing a baby in your belly- I still find it hard to not be a little bit pleased with myself when the number hasn't changed in a few days. Nonetheless, I know it is absolutely imperative that I gain an ample amount of weight to support my growing son and to support my body for the "big push" that looms in the not too distant future.

It amazes me that being pregnant just quickly removes all need for being "skinny." That truly, a scrawny, bony looking momma is not really a healthy one.

Don't get me wrong, I am by no means using this as an excuse to stuff my face with tons of junk food, but I have certainly given up my strive for "skinny."

I reached my "goal" that I stressed and worried about a blissful 4 weeks before my wedding and was soooo happy to weigh in 2lbs even less than that in time for my nuptials. I loved it! Was finally confident in everything I wore, no longer loathed the person staring back at me.. it was great! For about a month. Lo' and behold and a short 4 weeks later, 2 honeymoons under our belts, and finally married- I was about 4 lbs heavier. No biggie, right? Just get back into my running and eating like a champ regimen. Only.. it was too late. There was already a wee lil man growing in my belly. And he was not willing to give up extra sleep time for a run, he liked the idea of morning sickness and nausea rather than healthy eating. It's funny, ya know? And now, here I am a day away from being 21 weeks pregnant and a healthy 13 lbs heavier. I just find it so ironic that I finally reached that far off distant goal of being the skinny lil lady I longed to be and then SURPRRIIIIISE - there's a baby thats gonna stretch your belly and make you gain 25-25 lbs over the next 9 months! Haha.

Time to suck it up and start to love the look of my more-so "rounded" shape. The skinny me will be back in no-time, right? Just a good blend of breastfeeding, mommy exercise, and the staple for any fail-proof get-skinny plan, a healthy but reasonable (treats allowed, duh) diet.

Lord, give me the grace and confidence to believe this, see it through and NOT be overwhelmed by the number I see on the scale. Amen.

In other prego news, I thought people were kidding when they said their minds sorta get jumbled when they're pregnant. I thought for sure, it had to just be an excuse for the usually always forgetful people to somehow blame their downfalls on their unborn child.

Well, I for one, have never claimed to be the most well put together person in the world. Nor have I ever claimed to be the best organized, clear-minded, or anything of the sort. I know I am sometimes clumsy, forgetful and just plain stupid. (I'm only human, right?!) But this, THIS is a whole new level of duuuurrrrrrrr...... I have truly never felt this out of it in my life. Simple little things at work were my first clues.. Like forgetting to let the proper people know that their packages had arrived and spacing on the phone extension for people that I call on a daily basis. It't been a bit frightening just how much my brain has turned to mush.. But last night.. Last night was the epiphany of pregnancy brain..

Nic and I started watching a movie after he got home from rugby practice and of course, I fell asleep on his shoulder. Sometime around midnight when the movie was nearly over, I woke up and decided to get ready for bed. I took out my contacts and brushed my teeth. The usual. However, this morning when I was getting ready I could not find my contacts in their usual place. I was baffled and to be honest a little bit frustrated. I could not understand what happened to them! I wracking my brain, trying to think of all the possibilities.. Maybe Nic had placed them somewhere, maybe Banjo somehow got up on the counter and made the case her new toy.. I just knew it could not have been my doing. I always put the case in the same place! So I had to deal with wearing glasses to work today.

After returning home from work this afternoon, still curious about the wherabouts of my contacts, my hubby swooped in to save the day. He found them within a few short minutes of my asking him to help me find them. Where did they turn up, you ask? In the cabinet, UNDER the counter in our bathroom. Better yet, inside the medicine tub that I had out last night in a late-night Tums raid.

I rest my case. Pregnancy brain is not a joke. Pregnancy brain is a real thing and it can affect any one of us pregos. And once again, God has a a wonderful sense of humor.

There's a new man in my life....

And his name is Hudson Lee..

He's approx 7 inches long, weighs about 11 oz and is the apple of my eye. You can only see him through a sonogram, but I already know he is absolutely perfect. We counted 10 toes and 10 fingers, 2 legs and 2 arms, one precious little belly and one very impressive noggin. He still has a LOT of growing to do, which I am totally okay with. He needs to grow big and strong so his momma can squeeze him tight!

When I finally get to see him, I will most probably be crying, not because I am sad or scared or even cause I'm in pain- no, no, no- I will be crying tears of joy. For now I can only imagine what it will be like to spend time with him, to play with him, to hold him. Oh to hold my precious baby boy.. I absolutely cannot wait.

Well, of course I can wait. I just don't necessarily want to. I know I need to- in fact, he needs me to! I really hope this 2nd half goes by as quickly as the 1st. Right now, more than anything, he needs me to eat well, stay active, remain as stress-free as possible and buy him LOTS and LOTS of presents.

Oh to get to rock him in my arms and sing him lullabys. To watch as he peacefully sleeps while his dad plays guitar and sings to him. To rest on the couch with him sleeping on my chest, just listening to his breathing. That first time he grips on to my finger, I can assure you I will just melt right then and there. To see him smile at his daddy when he hears his voice. The first time he laughs cause his dad makes a funny face, I can promise you, I will be nearby, an overjoyed mess. And yes, even the late night feedings, the sleepy fits, the sound of his cry- all these things I will hold dear to my heart because I know how quickly they will all vanish and we will move on to the next phases of life.

We are eagerly awaiting his arrival, this precious gift from God. We are eagerly awaiting the day when we can see his sweet face and kiss his fantastic baby-scented skin. :)

If there were one thing that is for certain, it's this- this little man, this perfect gift- has already stolen our hearts.

LOVE

Incredibly creative title, I know.

First of all, it simply must be said.. I love being pregnant. I know, I know. It could sound really strange.. and while there are a few aspects that totally freak me out but all in all I could not be more thrilled.

I love feeling the baby move.

I love listening to the heartbeat.

I love the feeling of awe every time a bigger movement happens.

I love getting to read up about all the growth my baby is going through.

I love getting to share this most amazing gift with my wonderful hubby, Nic :)

I just LOVE being a preggo.

I love my wonderful husband- with all of my heart. He is my world. He treats me like royalty, he puts up with my crazy, and he doesn't even realize how much of a blessing he is to me. I am so incredibly blessed by this man that my Heavenly Father designed for me. We have so much fun together and we just click- in all of the places I am weak and neurotic, he is strong and steadfast! I just love it!! I love HIM!!

I love listening to rain fall outside... and not just sometimes, I mean ALL the time. Some people get sick of rain, or hate having it around all the time. I just LOVE it! Being in the Midwest puts us right down "tornado alley" and we have thunderstorms nearly all year round.. and its absolutely wonderful. To me, its a little reminder of how much the Lord loves us, He loves to cleanse us, wash us, make us clean and pure before Him. Yep.. there is something about the rain that will never cease to amaze me.

I love baking, and cooking, and cleaning and organizing and all things that are typical "50's housewife." It's true. I desperately would love to get to be a housewife that has things in perfect order and almost always has something fresh baked from the oven to snack on.. Alongside somehow continuing with this lifelong dream of being a musician.. I am not sure how I can make it all work, but I believe that with a lil' help and guidance from my Heavenly Father all these things can be in my reach.

I love my family.

I love that I have a HUGE family- and that they are not only in one place but literally around the world. From aunts and uncles and cousins and a nana in New Zealand, to brothers and sisters and mum and dad in Cali, even an aunt and uncle in Spain, and with most of my Mullaney family all in Texas.. As a matter of fact I am pretty sure a solid 90% live in that glorious state :)

I love road trips.

I love my Christmas kitten.

I love my friends- I am SO blessed to have such incredible people to call friends.. God has blessed me immensely!

I love getting to see new places.

I love playing my piano and worshiping my Jesus.

I love playing music with my hubby- among all the other wonderful ways we "click" music is certainly among the very top. There is something just so fantastic about that moment when we finish a song, or even just worship together.. It's amazing.

I love taking long walks.

I love going for a run in nice weather.

I love sleeping in.

I love traveling.

I love to love.

I love hugs.

I love Jesus with all of my heart. I am deeply in love with this man named Jesus and I do my best to live my life worthy of the calling that my Lord has placed on it. I know I am so unworthy of His love for me and this is something that humbles me daily. I believe in a man that died on a cross to cover my sins, and I believe that this man is the soon and coming King.

I believe that is good for now.. lots of things to love :)

Faithful and True.

I have learned a few different lessons this week.

1) Cramping during pregnancy is not for the faint of heart.

2) God truly is faithful in the little things- you simply have to open your eyes to see.

3) Friends are a funny thing to juggle.

4) Girls are just as mean in "grown up-land" as they were in high school.

Where to go with all of these lessons? I really don't know. They've just been in the back of my mind this week- and that last one was learned today, so its nice and fresh.

I have had heaps on my mind recently. I don't know if it's the onslaught of preggo hormones that are suddenly turning me into a deep thinker or if it's just the incredible landslide of crazy that has been these past few weeks. It must be a combination of the two.. That's what I think.

One of the things that I just can't seem to get out of my mind is just how different my life would be right now had I not listened to the Lord's call 2 years ago to move to Kansas City... It's quite shocking really. I mean- just think! Had I simply continued down the road I was on, I never would have had the courage to take any time off from UNM, which would have put me at graduating from college with a bachelors degree this May. Sure, I probably would have still lost my job at Saxbys, but I would have been much quicker to find a replacement job since a big move wouldn't have been in my foreseeable future. I wouldn't have started truly cultivating a relationship with my Heavenly Father, my Savior and King. I would still be stuck in the lukewarm, complacent place I was in when I was in Albuquerque. I never would have met the love of my life, my now husband, and the father of my wee little baby that is growing in my belly. I never would have never probably gotten hooked into the House of Prayer- the "prayer movement" so they call it. Mind you, I am not spending nearly as many hours in the prayer room as I was when I was a student at IHOPU, but still, the hunger for the Word, and for spending time with my Jesus is never quite quenched. Its amazing to think about the person I would be if I would have stayed. OH! And I never would have found our lil' rescue kitty, Banjo! She's ridiculous- but she wouldn't truly be a Hansen if she wasn't at least a little crazy.

Thank you, Jesus for lighting the fire under my butt to get out of Albuquerque. Haha! Sounds funny but I SO mean it :)

Ahhh- one of my favorites- listening to the prayer room archives. Ms Laura Hackett is leading and singing the classic...

"Great is Thy faithfulness!Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me"

How fitting.

And so, I end with this, I really don't have much else to say-- God is so good, and I love my wonderful husband..

Tales of a Fourth Month Nothing

I am officially 16 weeks preggo today and have not much more to show for it than a "full" looking tummy. You know, that bloated look you get when you had about 12 too many bites at a restaurant? Yep! That's me! All knocked up and nothing to show for it!

I say that like its a bad thing- most people are desperate to cling to their last piece of "normal" clothing and look to the maternity section with disdain. Me however, I scour the internet at any given chance to see where I can buy cutsie preggo clothes in bulk. I simply can not wait! Can you tell? I just want to have a bump that says, theres a baby in here-- not just food. A bump that says, Hello- I am with child, would you like to pour me a glass of lemonade? Haha.Nothing more, nothing less.

I don't know why I am complaining about it, really. I am sure when this baby bump arrives I will be just as quick to change my mind and wish for a thinner me, a less uncomfortable me, a less oh-ow me. Or maybe not. I just think this whole maternal thing is growing on me. In a way, I feel like having something to show will not only make it more real- but give me some assurance that everything is going just perfectly :)

In other recent news, one of my life-long besties, Jessica, just found out that she is having identical twins!! Amazing, right?! Such an awesome blessing! To make things even more wonderful- we have the exact same due date. September 8- the big day with the even bigger countdown! Once again, God the Almighty Orchestrator must have really thought this one through. My life has always seemed to take a path much like Jess' just a couple steps behind, (seeing that she is a few years my senior), and now, here we are, walking down the same road together. Well-- at least very similar- I'm sure she's gonna have double of everything to deal with. Lord, help her. I just can't be more thrilled about everything that has been going on!

I have been keeping busy at work and fitting in just the right amounts of play time and rest time when I am not there. I seem to have found my place at work, part confidant, part bringer-of-the-good-recipes, part problem solver, and oh, part what-I-get-paid-to-do. Haha! The girls at work are really great and it's been fun getting to know them all. It will be sad to leave when its time for me to become a full time momma- but until then, I will certainly soak up all the social time the Lord will allow me!

Selfish, pety thoughts aside- everything has just been wonderful- we really do serve a faithful God.

Stay tuned for more news on my ever slowly growing bellly....

Like Sunlight Burning At Midnight--

Life always had this way of taking things you thought were wonderful and turning them into something extraordinary.

Life has a way of picking you up, turning things around and giving you the chance to make a run for it or take it all in stride.

Life also has this way of taking your plans, crumpling them up and tossing them into the trash bin without consulting you first.

NONE of these things are, in any way, bad. It all depends on your perspective, of course. I choose to believe that God is the ultimate composer- the ever talented artist- the everyday hero that comes in on a day-to-day basis and simply tweaks things that we never would have expected- but all for our better good. Sometimes we're able to see it and instantly meet Him with a grateful heart and sometimes we're a little more hesitant to accept the change. You see, we had a curve ball tossed our way a mere 2 months ago. One we never would have planned for in this moment in time, one we actually frequently spoke of as being far off in the distant future, something we could see ourselves getting into in 3-5 years- a wonderful thought- just not for right now.

Clearly, the Lord hated that plan and wanted to do only what He knows how to do best. Rearrange.

I say this all with a light heart, mind you. I feel like I may be sounding down-and-out or even a bit on the spiteful side, but I assure you, what I am about to say brings me immense joy! I am overwhelmed with gladness and most times cannot find the words to say beyond- "Thank you Jesus!"

Nic and I have a wonderful new addition on his/her way come early fall and we are ecstatic! Officially what can be deemed a "Honeymoon baby." The thought that this time next year I will have a wee little one is amazing! No! Extraordinary.

We found out in a fairly usual way- I miss that time of the month and took a test. First one came back negative- second came back with a little tiny pink plus sign. A doodle that can't be undid, home skillet. So we did what any other normal couple would do- we combed the internet for a low/no cost clinic that would help us out (since insurance was out of the picture) At this time I was still pretty uncertain about what could be going on- you see, the test that came back positive had this super lame disclaimer that states "If you have ever had ovarian cysts or any issue with PCOS you may show a false positive." Ha. BOTH are things the Lord has healed me of, and BOTH are things that would cause me to miss a period. So-- we figured the best bet would be to skip on spending another $10 on an at home test and let the doc's do what they know how to do best. Bring us some news. And boy, did they ever.

Its amazing how the Lord perfectly orchestrates even the TINIEST of happenings- I wanted an ultrasound like NO other because that in my mind would be the ONLY way to clear things up-- cyst or baby? I have this need to just always see things for myself. I need verification, on every level, all the time. It's just one of those "things" about me. Everywhere we called didn't seem to want to give an ultrasound on a first visit so we finally gave up the hope for that and gave in to just getting a blood test. We show up and lo' and behold- they're incredibly busy so the only room the can squeeze us into is, duh duhn duuuuuuhhhnn---- the ultrasound room! After discussing the situation the midwife looks at me and said- welp- how about we clear things up real quick? I'll give you an ultrasound! Nic and I were ecstatic and I couldn't hardly even blurt out, "Yes, please" quick enough.

And there it was.

A little tiny blob on the screen- with its very own heartbeat. You could actually physically see the babies heart beating. Completely separate from mine. Nothing in this world could be more surreal that the very instant you find out you are having a baby... Your first baby. A surprise baby! A baby that by no means was planned or expected by us-- but had clearly been in the plans since the Lord brought us together. A flood of emotions hit me. It was like a tidal wave- I am a mom. We are parents! Look at it! Right there! Starin right back at me!! Its got your soft wavy lines, babe!

I would be lying if I said all I was feeling were happy thoughts- I was terrified, to put it simply. In fact I was so caught up in the moment of not knowing what the heck to think the very first words I was able to get out of my mouth were selfish ones-- "Aw man-- this means I'm gonna be FAT at Kevin and Meryl's wedding!!" Haha- so stupid. But what I was thinking nonetheless. A lil' different than Nic's first thought to ask if it was a boy or not- haha. Suffice to say- we were shocked. And emotional.

We almost immediately called our parents to share the news- and all and any fear, shame, worry, and negative thoughts went flying out the window. Getting to share the news with our family came with lots and lots of excitement. This is officially the first grandbaby on both the Mullaney side AND Hansen side. To say that this baby is going to be spoiled and loved on like crazy is an understatement. :)

Our brothers are already fighting over who will be the "Cool Uncle" and our sisters are already debating who gets to be the first babysitter. The dad's have already decided what they want the baby to call them. And the mom's are ever-so-diplomatically deciding who gets to hold the baby at Kevin and Meryl's wedding. Its a beautiful thing.

So- unlike our plans which often are greatly flawed and selfish- God takes things into HIS hands and turns them into marvelous works of art.

And we could not be more excited.

So- mark it on your calendars- write it out like a song-- September 8 is the big day. Nic and Kristin Hansen are on the road to parenthood.

And this has been my Monday night....

It's amazing what sorts of people seem to fade in and out your life- one day you feel like you can't live a moment without them and the next you find yourself realizing its been 6 MONTHS since you spoke to them and you now know little to none about their exsistence. And you're either totally okay with that-- or like me, it absolutely breaks you heart.

I am the type of girl that loves and loves quickly and typically loves for forever. Even when people hurt me I can't really find it in me to ever really "let it go." I have this undying need to "fix" it and hopefully still be friends and ultimately my love for that person never goes away- I will always wish them well and hope for the best no matter what the future friendship looks like. I, too tho, am not dumb. I do have the ability to realize when a friendship is otherwise toxic and in turn it is much easier to "let go" of then if that person was a good, genuine friend. Nonetheless- I am still nowhere close to ever being able to stop caring for them- no matter how much they crushed my heart or trampled my spirt.

Why is that? I have no idea.

This Monday evening I have had the joy of Skyping with a dear friend of mine that I have known since I was a freshman in highschool- and now here I am married- nearly 8 years later and we can just sit and hang out talking about the most random thing that pops up in our minds. Its amazing! Sure- we have had our "ups" and "downs" and the occasional season of being too busy to even think about having a conversation- yet our friendship remains.

They always say that if at the end of a man's life he has one or two close friends then he is considered a RICH man.

I feel blessed. And I know that I really am. I truly have been blessed with some incredible friends. Not only friends but an amazing family. Each and every single one of my brothers and sisters hold a VERY special place in my heart and my parents are all fantastic at the very least. And yet sometimes in my own self-pity I forget to see past my pettiness. I forget to see past the fact that I am not surrounded with tons of friends like some sort of social butterfly. It's like I yearn for this ridiculous scene from high school where everyone around me is a friendly face and everyone around me wants to hang out Friday night.

I feel like I am finally learning that being some sort of socialite is NO where near as full-filling as having a few close friends and an even closer family.

I am rich, indeed.

Snowpocalypse

Here on my side of the world this week, we had the most spectacular down pour of snow I believe I have ever seen outside of getting snowed in at our family cabin in Colorado back when I was in highschool. Kansas City was deemed to be in a "State of Emergency," complete with National Guard coming through and snow plows working overtime. I even got called out of a day and a half of work cause the roads were nearly impossible to drive on! Woot!

Nic and I, as you can imagine, spent every moment of my time off together and it was splendid. We walked in the snow and took adventures in snow boots..I even got to make that apple pie I have been wanting to make for weeks! So so much fun :)

Have I ever mentioned how much I adore this man I married? Cause it's endless :)

We got a kitten about a month ago (my belated Christmas gift!) and she has been a fun little addition to our family. She is full of quirky little cute things that are absolutely hilarious- she will come out of hiding under the couch to meow at us as if to let us know its bedtime, she loves oranges and apples, she is inLOVE with this brown blanket we got from our gift registry, she literally starts purring the moment she touches it, and she will come find us wherever we are in the house to let us know she's hungry- and would very much so enjoy our company at lunch. She seemingly insists we follow her to the kitchen where her tiny little bowls lay. We named her Banjo and it is definitely fitting- she is scruffy beyond belief and has the coloring of a crazy hill country kitty. All white except a couple splotches of orange and brown on her face and then her entire tail is striped. Basically the most precious kitty of all time :)

Nic has fully gotten back into the swing of rugby season- practice 3 days a week and of course, the working out that comes along with being in any sort of sport. The games don't start for another month or so. I do wish we didn't have to sacrifice so much of our time together for him to play but what I wish even more than that is that my husband would feel happy and have an outlet and some good friends to hang out with. Which is exactly what this is for him- a wonderful way to stay fit and a chance to play the game he has loved since he was a young lil' Kiwi. What's pretty exciting about it all is that the team is looking towards going pro by next season! They're already sponsored by Adidas and have an incredible stadium being built for their use as well as the KC Wizards (pro soccer team). It may not be a billion-dollar stadium like the Cowboys-- but who's to say that won't be in their future?? I am so excited for my honey- it's gonna be great to get to watch him play this season- and for many more to come!

I feel like I am running out of things to say- not because I am boring or anything-- just mostly cause I am sleepy. You wouldn't think working at a desk all day would wear you out, but my word-- I come home every day just about ready to crash!

Sooo I'm off- goodnight. Farewell for now-- I'll be back soon :)

And so it begins...

Our life has been like a roller coaster since the moment we said our vows... and it's got me really wondering what the heck the Lord has got brewin' for us in that heart and mind of His. We have spent so much time dreaming up what our future is gonna look like now that we're finally married and finally starting this trek towards our blissful forever...

We're thought of living in other countries- we've thought of going into full time ministry and forsaking what we know to be "stable" lifestyles- we've dreamt of living our lives as full time musicians, dedicating all we have and do to the Lord- we've thought of being a fairly typical American family, complete with stay-at-home mom and hard working dad- we've thought of finishing our different school programs or maybe even starting new ones... There have been countless "what-if's" and "maybe's." Countless dreams thought up by two bright eyed dreamers caught up with their heads in the clouds- but at least we're there together :)

So much of our life since our wedding (and even much before then) has been waiting. Waiting on the Lord.. Just listening. Waiting for what we're hoping to be a clear answer.

Not only have we been in this season of waiting since, well, for as long as I can really remember, it's also been a season of Divine Encounters. Things that God Himself could have only set up- from the simplest things like running into friends that we had JUST been discussing needing to catch up with, to me landing a job the exact same day Nic's entire department gets laid off. These have been so fun watching and just relishing in the fact- He LOVES us SO much to let us know He cares. He brings forth the desires of our hearts without us even saying a word- and most times before we even knew they were a need.

Yes, it has been extremely tight, financially speaking. To the point where we're kind just living on oatmeal and PB&J's at the moment. But we're together. And we love each other. And this love is GROWING!

I have been amazed by how much more I have managed to fall more and more in love with Nic.. Its like everyday I am finding myself having the butterflies, the little looks on his face where I just want to capture it and relive it in my heart forever, the moments where I feel absolute and complete bliss, joy, love, IN love, and a heart that could never stop filling up. It has been absolutely marvelous.