I suck at this.

Blogging, that is.



My life has taken on an entirely new pace and I love it. I'm no longer busy because of a work schedule or school schedule.. Nope, Jesus has taken over my schedule. And I mean that in the least sacreligious way possible. Haha!



I am in classes from 9am-noon daily. These classes, however, are NOTHING like typical university level classes. This is downright, get full of the Word, sermon style lessons. It feels like I go to church 6 days a week. (Saturday is my day off, can I get an AMEN for a Sabbath?! Haha) On top of these classes I have an extra FMA class- for the first 1/2 of the semester it is a class called "The Valuable Everyone." We've been studying all sorts of personality types and in turn have been learning how to communicate well with people who have entirely different personalities than our own. (This has ALREADY come in handy.. I met a couple people in my first days here and was absolutely DREADING being around them and I am to the point that I will gladly take part in a conversation. Haha) And the 2nd half of semester this will be a choir class. Woot :) And on top of THAT I am in our Global Prayer Room for 28 hours a week. I bumped that from our minimun requirement of 24 hours.. I never thought that being in a prayer room for 2-6hour blocks would really be something I could handle but I am growing to love it more and more each week! Crazy, I know.. :)

I moved into a 4plex and its amazing! I have 14 lady neighbors and 5 men neighbors. I would not have it any other way! We're like big family! We have weekly gatherings and fun times :) We had a sushi night, picnic day, and worship night(s)! I LOVE this place.

I have truly found my 'home' :)

Days Away

Although my faith in mankind has mostly been restored I'm still in a bit of a pickle. My heart is absolutey torn between two completely contrasting ideas.. Please keep me in your prayers- I need to find clarity ASAP.

I'm about a week from moving away from Albuquerque and the reality has yet to fully set in. I realize that alot of the people that I am seeing now won't be there for me to hang out with 2 weeks from now- I may never see some of these people ever again and that is an all too strange feeling. Also, I've begun the laborious task of packing up and let me just say- my closet full of clothes and shoes have taken up 8 boxes- and thats just the beginning.. I sure hope that my new place has a big closet!! Haha.

Speaking of new places- I thought I had a house secured- I sent in my security deposit- everything- only problem is that when I was reading through the lease it very discreetly mentions NO PETS. Uhmmm.. I have 2 babies that MUST make it to KC with me so I'm not really sure what to do about this. God knows whats going on and I know He will show me what to do.. He has gotten me this far and I know He won't let me down. He knows what I need.. Its just around the corner, yeah?

My best friend left today to go pick up her booshkey- he's been in Iraq for 3 months and comes home today! Well- comes to Denver.. and then home. I am very excited for her tho! This will be a really great day for her, probably a day she will never forget. I'm a bit worried that the Kris and Mandi hang out time has officially ended 'cause I dont really know when she gets back and I leave on Friday. Pthhhhhh...I won't lie, that pretty much breaks my heart.. I'm not really sure what to do about that lady.. I feel like we're growing apart and I think it may be on purpose.. ya know? To make it less hard when I leave? I dunno.

Anyhow- I should probably be doing something productive.. Like packing... yeah.

Love always-

Thoughts for Food.

Sooo wow.. just when you think you know someone.. just when you think you've figured everything out.. just when it really feels "right"... just when you decide that this crazy "Plan B" idea is truly that, crazy... a Mac truck drives with full force towards your head and makes no indication of slowing..

What the hell?

What is so hard about being honest? What is so hard about sharing things that if NOT shared could be a breaking point??

Here are a few things I will never understand:
1. How it is so easy to go from being 100% to feeling like throwing in the towel all within a matter of seconds. This can't be a good sign. No?
2. Why people can't say what it is that they ACTUALLY mean to say. I understand needing a bit of time to gather your thoughts, but if your gonna break someone's heart, you better do so eloquently.
3. Men.

Good Lord, I need some help. Theres a knot in my throat the size of a grapefruit and I have a feeling its gonna break loose here in the next few moments.

I honestly don't know what to do right now. I don't know how to handle this- which is something I am not very accustomed to. People come to ME for answers and I usually have them. Only now, in the midst of my struggle, I've got nothin. I'm coming up pretty empty handed. This is incredibly difficult.

This gives my crazy "Plan B" idea much more foundation to stand on. Maybe I should just go for it?

So sorry for being quite vague. We'll see how much I can share in the near future.

Firecracker

I have spent the past month consumed with all that is fireworks. Being in the office preparing for tents all over New Mexico to open, running 2 tents with Jake and just finished up the return center today! Needless to say- I am a bit exhausted. However- tomorrow my family (including significant others and our cousin, Brandon) is eading up to our cabin for some much needed R&R! To top that we get to take Patricks boat to the lake nearby! Woo yeah! I'm gonna be so tan its not even funny.

I am moving away from my home in less than a month and I find that to be very unsettling. I don't understand why- but this move that used to make me BEYOND excited is suddenly making me want to pass out with unwanted anxiety. I have yet to find a place to live and I am needin some help from my Heavenly Father. I can't be in control of everything all of the time- haven't I said that before? I feel like that will definitely be a lifelong struggle. Haha. Its a good thing I can realize that I am human!

I am pretty tired and I still need to pack- but I realized that it had been a while since I wrote on here so I needed to drop by and say hello. Sooooo...



Hey!


Oh yeah and PS- My birthday is on the 20th! What are YOU getting me?? Lol. Just joking :)

Scatter{B.R.A.I.N.E.D.}

I have so much to say, so little desire to say it and yet all the desire in the world to get it OFF MY CHEST.

I can't really tell which way is up right now. My head is spinning.

Here goes nothing...

To start things off, I suppose I could say hello. Its been a while, no? Life has been nonstop for me in these past months. The only reason my Facebook and Twitter get updated is because I can do all of that from my handy dandy cell phone. And this, this fun blog, must only be updated from my laptop. Which the time I spend on it has become increasingly low. I'm sure that it will pick up once I am at FMA.

Since leaving (er, getting booted from) Saxbys, I have been working a VERY part-time job for an Allstate agent. All my job entails is driving around Albuquerque on various "routes" dropping off brochures and candy in hopes that my smiling face and ever-so-thought-out words would persuade them to purchase some sort of insurance from my boss. Mind you, I wasn't even making enough to cover my rent sooo maxed out credit cards? Yeah, I have 2. Anyways, Tuesday morning I went into work to staple business cards, arrange candy and gummi bears, you know, my usual and BAM my boss "pulled the plug on my position." Woooo. Awesome. Wasn't all that shocked... I just expect these sorts of things now-a-days.

I really don't want this to be an angry or a sad post- but I can see that's what it is turning into. I wish I were in one of my perky, look on the bright side, kind of moods.. but I'm really not. I'll try, though, really, I will. I don't know what has brought on this, unfortunately, melancholy attitude but I am certainly sure of one thing- I already have a solution to this sadness- its just the waiting part that I am struggling with. I guess I lied though, I do know what spurred my sudden drop in cheerfulness I just really, REALLY don't want to get into it that...Its not worth the energy and definitely not worth your time. And we're only scratching the surface of all I have to say. If you're looking for a pick me up- move on.

Speaking of moving on- who's ready to get the heck out of Albuquerque?! Oh, yeah!! That's me!

Albuquerque has been good to me, no doubt, but it is time for me to leave. It's all the same. I see all the same things. I go to all the same places. Most things remind me of people or experiences that I am more than ready to leave behind, not forget, just move on from. I am just so done with the redundancy, I have gotten everything that I possibly can out of this city. I need newness, freshness, purity... None of those things are here anymore. And I certainly don't want to take the time to find them.

I have spent the better part of 7 years trying to make new friends, keep current friends happy, and leave the ones that are better left behind. The latter has always been very hard for me... And I'm afriad that no matter how adamant I am about just "walking away," and leaving the past behind, part of me will still always want to try to make it seem like theres a chance, part of me will always want to send that one little text to see if they wanna talk, or hang out next time I'm in town. I just dont get it.

What is so hard about keeping in touch? Why is it nearly impossible to keep in contact with friends that you don't see every single day? I am sometimes AMAZED by the few people I wind up being in touch with. Is it just me? Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I am so sick of one-sided friendships! You know what I'm talkling about- the friend who only calls when they need a favor, a phone number, a ride. The friend who suddenly appears back into your life when your significant other is in town. Then there's the friend that you text and call and send emails to and guess what? YOU'RE the only one putting forth any effort to be in touch, to hang out, to spend time. It kills me. There must be something fundamentaly unlikeable about me or something because some people seem to avoid me like the plague. Do I smell? Is that it?

Here's another couple questions: Is this what I have to look forward to in KC or is it just the friends I have here?! Like- is this how people are everywhere? Maybe I just expect too much out of people, out of friends. Maybe I should just expect that the only people I will be in close communication with is my family. (Again includes Mullaney's, Hopkins, Mandi and Catie) Maybe I am the one to blame- maybe I am some terrible excuse for a friend and I've had it all wrong all along.

Or maybe God really is just trying to give me an easier excuse to LET GO and MOVE ON, I am afterall, moving because He made it possible. He opened the doors...

I don't know. I am just so bummed about all of it, really. I guess all I can say is good riddance to ya.

And then there's Jake. Augh.

I hope other couples go through this cause if not then we could be in for some trouble but...I don't know what it is- we go through "phases." One phase could be wanting to spend every moment together and being super sweet and loving 24/7 to the next phase which is bugging the hell out of each other. We were having like THE best relationship ever- up until my last visit to Kansas. And now- I am so frustrated by him. I figured once summer came and we weren't so stressed and we could spend some "quality" time together everything would work itself out but no. I am just finding myself closer and closer to the verge of tears at almost all hours of the day. And most of it would probably go away if I could actually TALK about what I am upset about the MOMENT I get bugged because then, in his wonderful Jake way, he could explain it all away and I'd be fine. But I have this stupid way of needing to think things through and rationalize and by the time I have thought it all through its been so long since it happened he'd think I was crazy for bringing it up. *sigh* I just might cry now. Ugh.

And then there's always my biggest fear. That horrible insecurity that I just can't shake that always seems to catch me by the throat and take hold for as long as I can stand it. Why do I do this? Its like self-sabotage. No joke. I know its crazy. I know its irrational. But then- then I have a moment where I convince myself that its my "woman intuition" and that I am totally right. Only I don't want to be right because that would absolutely crush my very being... You know what I mean? No? Sorry... I'm kinda all over the place.

Oh and to top it ALL off- I keep telling myself that I HAVE to trust God completely. I HAVE to let Him be in control. I HAVE GOT TO LEARN TO LET THE LITTLE THINGS GO. Why can't I do that? Why is it so hard for me? It stresses me out that I get so stressed out about things that I shouldn't even be worrying about. And then guess what? I'm so stressed that I pull at my own hair. Literally! Not even kidding. I don't even notice that I do it most of the time! I've been so stressed out about potential nothings for so long that I'm getting bald spots! WTF?! How! Why! I just hate this! I don't know how to stop either. Do they have pills for people who are complete messes and are balding because of their own dumbness? Maybe a shampoo? I don't know. Lord, help me.

I feel like crying and screaming and pounding something really hard.

Sheesh. I should get a grip, huh?


Hug? Please? Someone??

Just a thought....

Why on earth do people have to walk around naked in gym locker rooms?!

Honestly. No one wants to see that, and quite frankly it makes me very uncomfortable. Big, small, old, young, tan, ivory- I don't care. I don't wanna see you in your birthday suit. Whats with the lack of privacy? Lack of MODESTY?!

Don't get me wrong- I get it- you change clothes in a locker room, you shower, you freshen up- whatever. Its not the nakedness that I have a problem with- I'm sure people have seen a slip of a Kristin boob or tushie-thats not my issue! The thing I have a problem with is the blatant act of dropping your towel and walking clear across the locker room, staring in the mirror for a few minutes and then bouncing around for another 30 as though no one else was in the area, slathering lotion, brushing your hair, applying makeup, before finally- FINALLY- putting clothes on your shamelessly naked body.

C'mon people! This has got to stop!

This whole "love the body you're in" campaign is being taken to the extreme. Yes, women should be comfortable in their God-given bodies. But should everyone else have to suffer awkward glances and uncomfortable situations because of it? Ah gees. I just can't hardly stand it.

And then there are the women who wear close to nothing in the actual gym. You know you've seen that lady. The one in the sports bra and spandex booty shorts. Of course you've seen them, you can't NOT see them. Your eye catches this glimpse of a shockingly bare body and you almost can't look away until- 'Oh no, she's looking my way!' and you have to suddenly pretend that you really meant to overflow your water bottle while standing at the water fountain.

Is this scantily clad woman here to work out? Or is she here on the prowl?? I say the latter.

And its not always even a super hottie, size 2, rock hard abs, belongs in a centerfold, woman that dresses this way. I've seen it all! Cellulite spilling out of the bottom of biking shorts, back fat unmercifully protruding from the edges of a sports bra, a God-awful orange colored tan leaking from every pore that didn't feel the need to be covered by what we 21st century folks call clothes.

Ok, cool. Some people just want to feel the freedom of complete nakedness, the feeling that there is absolutely NOTHING holding them back. Save it for the nudey beach, friend.

Some folks just want to feel sexy. As though all eyes are on them because they are just too hott to handle. Save it for the bedroom, honey.

And thats all for now.

Just When You Think You've Got It All Under Control:

BAM!

God throws a curve ball.

I just don't know what to say.

I walked into work on March 6th thinking that all in the world was right and wonderful and normal. Then one of my bosses came in with a very strange "energy" and told me that another one of my bosses would be by to meet with me. I got kinda nervous simply because they never beat around the bush like that- they only have that sorta "energy" when something is wrong. So Ali came in around 11am and asked to speak with me ASAP. I stopped all that I was doing and went out to the patio to find out what was going on. She proceeded to tell me that my shop had been sold to new owners, that I would, as of that evening, be working for new bosses. I took all of this with a grain of salt. I knew that we had been hurting recently and what the shop really needed were owners that could be proactivve and be there almost 24/7. Anyhow- the new couple shows up towards the end of my meeting with Ali and I go straight into a meeting with them. We talked about the future, talked about how excited they were to work there, how stoked I was to show them the "ropes." Blah, blah, blah.

To make a long, frustrating, and painful story short-

They fired me. With no notice. They told customers that I was "no longer with them" before they even let me know that I no longer had a job. I confronted them on that Sunday. And then offered me a job 1/2 the pay rate of what I was making and for 1/4th the hours.

Hell-to-the-no.

Needless to say, I have no idea what to do with my life. I am just sitting around waiting for God to show me what to do.

Oddly enough, I am totally and completely at peace with all of this. I know God isn't surprised by what happened. I know He knows what I need to be doing. I just need to learn that I can't be in control. I HAVE to fully trust in HIM.

Thankfully, one of my old bosses felt terrible about what happened and offered me a job at his insurance agency. Only- its no where close to fulltime. So I think a 2nd job will be coming shortly.

Keep me in your prayers, please. Lord knows I need them.



Other than all these shenanigans with Saxbys, life has been wonderful. I got to see Jake for 10 days in-a-row! We had a blast in San Fran/Aracta. It was a much needed vacay. Things at the church are going really well- I am building a worship team and it is getting better and better every Sunday. I was able to finally send in the rest of my application to FMA. I got an email letting me know they are processing my app. Harvey is a terror- but still, I love him. Peanut is an angry, old, cenile kitty- but she likes me still which, really, at this point is all I can ask for. Shel and Audge's Sweet 16 Party went REALLY well- Jake and I took the roles of "monitor" while Polly and Steve tried to stay out of the picture. We kept an eye on the incredible # of boys that showed up to their party. Their were a couple lingering afterwards that Jake had to give the boot. Sorry- no kisses boys! Haha. I'm on Season 6 of Friends and I started on the Monday after I got fired, had a whole week off and and back in the swing of watching it at an almost constant rate :)


I move in 4 months and 1 week. WOOOOOT!

Countdown

Despite all of the chaos in my life I am in a really good mood today! I've been bouncing around all day singing the Tim Huges remake of "Oh, Happy Day." Its dang good by the way. Also, we've had it on the classic movie channel at work all day, which is way awesome. I've seen Big, Hook, Top Gun.. all the good ones. Yay!

I am currently counting down 'til Spring Break- as most kids my age are- which is when Jake and I will be in California for the better half of the week! Woot! We start off in San Fran staying with my bro and his girlfriend and then we'll head up north where he lives in Arcata.

I. Can. Not. Wait.

Well, I can. And clearly, I have to. But I really, REALLY, don't want to.

Speaking of countdowns in my life, the countdown til KC continues. Only a little less than 5 months and I'm onto better things. Onto following what God has put in my heart to do since I was a child. Onto living a life that I know is benefiting my well-being. Onto finding out what on the earth I am truly meant to do with my life.

Heated Up Left Overs and Some Extra Time To Kill

Where to even begin? Life has been a blur these past few weeks. Some combination of work, gym, driving long distances, and an occasional good night of sleep. Even now, as I am sitting at work eating my lunch, I can't even muster up the energy to WANT to do anything out of my usual. This is so strange to me. I am not this kind of person.

I have not slept in past 7:30am in over a month now. I guess I really am growing up. I get up around 5am, get ready for the day, work all day long, go to the gym for about an hour and a half, go BACK to work to close out the day, go home and make myself dinner. Most nights I'm in bed by 9pm and then it starts all over again. Why? Why do I live like this? My days off recently have only been me out town, living by someone else's schedule. Its nuts. I realized that this, this life I have, is the life that at least 90% of adults live everyday. You know, the very reliable 9-5 job, 2 day weekend, and then BAM It starts all over again. Even in speaking with my "regulars" here at my coffee shop, the ever so common answer to 'How are you doin?' is, 'Pause', 'I'm alright. Can't wait til Friday!' And then of course everyone around nods their head and says, 'Yeah, I understand.' Friday comes followe by a short weekend full of the things we WISH we could have been doing all week long and then it REPEATS. Its like having a CD set to repeat on a song that you hate and, yet, you continue to listen to it. Over, and over, and over again. And you know what? I don't want this life. I pray that God has something different in store for me. I am so peeved at the monotony of it all. I'm too creative, I'm too artistic. And still here I am, punchin' the time clock, working for "The Man."

Oh, to be a Rockstar.

God willing, I will do it. That WILL be my life. I WILL follow my passions. I will follow what God has placed on my heart to do since I was a little girl. Too many people today settle. They settle for something less than what they've always hoped for. I can't tell you how many people have given me "the look" when I tell them that I am currently not in school. That I am "taking a break." Yet the moment I tell them why, the moment I explain that it is so I can go to an even better school, so I can follow MY DREAMS, suddenly their whole demeanor changes. All of a sudden they look at me as the wisest young gal they've ever spoken to. They tell me that they wish they would have done the same thing, followed their passion. I refuse to be that person. I refuse to be looking at some 19 year, 30 years from now saying, "I wish I would have followed my passions." I refuse to settle for a 9-5, sit on my ass all day, whine and complain about how much I hate my life- JOB! I thank God that I only have a few short months of this lifestyle until I can start on this road towards happiness, success, my BRIGHT future.

Not to belittle people who do have this lifestyle- for some, it works! For some it is EXACTLY what they need. Routine, dependable, simple, easy to manage! All good things! Just not for me.

I was at a worship conference a couple years ago. I was leading worship on a team with my oldest brother, Mark. On the last night of the conference we had a man that prophesied over us. (God speaks to someone about someone else, it literally puts such a burden on your heart that you feel as though you cannot do anything else until you tell this other person what it is you are hearing in your heart) I hadn't seen this man again until this past weekend, at yet another worship conference. I had totally forgotten about all of the encouraging words he had spoken to me that night, 4 years ago. He reminded me that I am not supposed to be this "normal" kid. I'm not meant to be some sort of pawn in the normal day to day life. I'm not supposed to have the normal life that most kids have in high school and college. I remember feeling pretty bugged by that, to be quite honest. I was like any othwr high school kid who longed to be "NORMAL", to fit in! Now, I had plenty of friends, and sure I fit in. But now that I have reached the college stage I yearn for everything BUT normal. I hate college. Throwing money at people just so I can sit in class and be miserable SUCKS! The party life that people get sucked into SUCKS! Working half of your life after college just so you pay pay off your loans to get a degree that doesn't matter to you SUCKS! This life is not for me. Now, more than EVER, I feel that what he said to me is entirely true! As I already mentioned, this life is not for me. I long for the day of something more. I long to follow my passion, my hearts desire, and that- that my friend, is to sing.

And God has taken my hand, and will walk me through this. He is allowing this all to happen. And I could not be happier.

Ah, this is the life...

Or maybe not so much. But I don't care- I am a mere 52 hours away from my boyfraaan.

DRAMA IN MY LIFE

Part I
I have been hoarding my credit card in my desk for the past month because I am going on a trip to San Fransisco and would like to have some space on there to buy things and enjoy my much deserved vacation. Also, I just need to catch up from Christmas because I don't know how to NOT buy nice things for my family. That being said- I went online today to make yet another payment and there are 3 mysterious transactions. One for $69.99, $89.95 and $75.60. If you want to know the definition for "flip the f*** out" there was a definite display of this phrase in all of its glory! I called my bank who tranferred me to Visa who said I needed to call my bank. Ah, yes, that vicious cycle of people in CUSTOMER SERVICE who don't actually want to help you. After about an hour of playing Phone-Ring-Around-The-Rosie I was able to speak with someone who solved my issue in about 2 minutes. Apparently I have to file a dispute for each tansaction and I went ahead and blocked my card which means I'll be getting a new one.... in 7-10 business days. DAH.

Part II
Mandi and my kitten, Harvey Dent, can be destructive at times. I am trying to handle it in a very constructive manner and it seems to be working. What can I say, he's in his terrible 2's stage! He has ceased all of he habits that I "busted" him for. However, at some point in the day yesterday he got into our roomates bedroom and knocked over a box of plants she has (cacti, funky looking foliage, etc.) I hadn't even noticed that her door was open until she came home and commented on it. Her room was a wreck. :/
So Mandi and I went back to what we were both in the middle of when all of a sudden we hear this terrible sound of a what seemed to be a VERY distressed kitten. So we run to where the noise is coming from. Oh, good. Its coming from Joelle's bathroom which she has locked. Mandi starts trying to figure out what is going on when we hear Joelle say "I'm punishing the cat." Wow, great. Yeah, it really sounds like he is learning his lesson- not. So I start getting all worked up and were both pleading with Joelle to stop. And yet, she continues. Mandi, who was very upset at this point, looks at me and says, "You're gonna have to handle this. I can't deal with her." And for those of you who know me, you know that when I get really worked up about something I can have a momentary laspse of judgement and say things in haste and anger. I had to walk away. SOOOOO- Long story short she FINALLY stops "punishing" my baby and I tried to very calmly and rationally tell her that I was sorry he made the mess, that I'd clean it up and that I did not want her to ever touch my cat again. He's a baby! Punshing him for wrong doings HOURS after the fact does absolutely NOTHING! She was just torturing him! Ugh. I could have slapped her. I offered to clean up the room and she said "No, its MY room." Hmm. K fine. She has yet to utter a syllable directed at me. At least I know I handled it in the most mature way possible.

PartIII
Somehow, in the hustle and bustle of my life I seem to have lost my song book. :( The book that contains all of the music that I have written. Well- I take that back. All of the songs I have completed. Everything else (works in progress, random lyrics, pretty chord structures, etc.) goes in a different binder. But this, this precious notebook that I treasure, is missing. My heart aches.

PartIV
This isn't really drama- I just really wanted to get to use the Roman Numeral IV :) The Hopkins Family and I, (Steve, Polly, Audrey, and Shelby) are venturing on a 7 hour road trip to Tuscon for Bompa's (Polly's dad) 90th birthday! This will certainly be a cozy ride AND a Valentine's Day to remember :)

Oh, my life. And yet, in the midst of all of this craziness, I still have a smile glued to my face.

Destination:Beautiful

The title to my very first blog on my brand new Blogger account(can I get a woop, woop??) seems fitting only so I can explain why I have deemed it proper for my ENTIRE blog to be named after. I won't lie- I sat here on my bed contemplating for what felt like many minutes what I should give my blog as an official title. Something that EVERYONE will read no matter how in depth they look into this thing I've created that will certainly become an outlet for random emotions, wonderful memories to be retained and yes, of course, heartfelt lyrics to songs that I will one day become famous for. (Ah, the confidence, it's wonderful, really :) )

Anyhow, I racked my brain and the two words that kept creeping into it are from a song that I have loved for many years. Its quite an emo song, that I actually don't identify much with beyond the wonderful music and a few random stanza's in the lyrics. The band is Mae and the song is Sun. If you already haven't jumped out of your seat and rushed to get their album all because I mentioned it then I suggest you do so in the very near future. I believe every single person will find something to connect to in their music. If it isn't the fantastic lyrics that move you it will most definitely be the incredible musicality behind each and every song. (Disclaimer: they are, at times, emo. But who isn't these days?) The combination of knock-your-socks-off vocals, rock piano, guitar, drums, and often times orchestra, sheesh- I get goosebumps just thinking about it. They are who I aspire to sound like. No joke. A mix of that minus the sometimes emo status lyrics and Coldplay and you get ME! Yay!

WOW, anyways, I am easily distracted... The point of the ever so carefully chosen title is that I believe that no matter where my God is taking me, no matter where He sends me- it is always going to be a BEAUTIFUL location. By beautiful I'm not saying that I happened to luck out to be God's #1 all time favorite child. No, the joke is not on all of you and I will not only be sent to live in places like Hawaii and Cozumel. No. It's the state of mind I have chosen to have about wherever He is taking me. Wherever I go- He is always with me. So how could it not be beautiful??

Example: I recently went to visit my soon to be new school in Kansas City, MO. The Forerunner Music Academy is FAR from glamorous. It is actually almost a 180 from what I had envisioned in my head for it to be. But it doesn't matter to me at all- I know that this is where God wants me to be. I know for a fact that this is where I need to spend the next 4 years of my life. It is beyond perfect for what I need to do with my life. For what God has placed a passion and a desire in my heart for, MUSIC. Talk about answer to my prayers!

So, if there is anything one must take from this increasingly long blog it is that I believe in my heart that my Father God has a perfect plan and a perfect will for my life and it is my duty to listen to His voice and follow it as closely as possible in order to always wind up in my Beautiful Destination. I may be a mess and completely ridiculous at times but He will always bring me back. I may not always hear Him loud and clear and may take a few, or hundreds of wrong turns but He will always take me back. So what if I whine and complain? I am an imperfect human and HE loves my unconditionally.

And so this love affair with blogger begins...

Destination: Beautiful