God has an incredible sense of humor...

... I mean- you obsess and stress about losing weight and finally getting back to a place where you're comfortable in your own skin, especially for your wedding day and then ya go and get yourself knocked up! I just find it funny! Truly. No cynicism, I know its all the Lord's doing and I know He's gotta be teaching me some sort of lesson here. While at the same time giving me the most precious gift imaginable.

I can't be the first first-time prego to step on a scale in utter disbelief of the number that lies before her... I just know I can't be. I literally cringe every time I walk past that scale, muchless remind myself that its my duty to keep track of how quickly that number grows. As I have come to accept more and more that skinny is not "in" when growing a baby in your belly- I still find it hard to not be a little bit pleased with myself when the number hasn't changed in a few days. Nonetheless, I know it is absolutely imperative that I gain an ample amount of weight to support my growing son and to support my body for the "big push" that looms in the not too distant future.

It amazes me that being pregnant just quickly removes all need for being "skinny." That truly, a scrawny, bony looking momma is not really a healthy one.

Don't get me wrong, I am by no means using this as an excuse to stuff my face with tons of junk food, but I have certainly given up my strive for "skinny."

I reached my "goal" that I stressed and worried about a blissful 4 weeks before my wedding and was soooo happy to weigh in 2lbs even less than that in time for my nuptials. I loved it! Was finally confident in everything I wore, no longer loathed the person staring back at me.. it was great! For about a month. Lo' and behold and a short 4 weeks later, 2 honeymoons under our belts, and finally married- I was about 4 lbs heavier. No biggie, right? Just get back into my running and eating like a champ regimen. Only.. it was too late. There was already a wee lil man growing in my belly. And he was not willing to give up extra sleep time for a run, he liked the idea of morning sickness and nausea rather than healthy eating. It's funny, ya know? And now, here I am a day away from being 21 weeks pregnant and a healthy 13 lbs heavier. I just find it so ironic that I finally reached that far off distant goal of being the skinny lil lady I longed to be and then SURPRRIIIIISE - there's a baby thats gonna stretch your belly and make you gain 25-25 lbs over the next 9 months! Haha.

Time to suck it up and start to love the look of my more-so "rounded" shape. The skinny me will be back in no-time, right? Just a good blend of breastfeeding, mommy exercise, and the staple for any fail-proof get-skinny plan, a healthy but reasonable (treats allowed, duh) diet.

Lord, give me the grace and confidence to believe this, see it through and NOT be overwhelmed by the number I see on the scale. Amen.

In other prego news, I thought people were kidding when they said their minds sorta get jumbled when they're pregnant. I thought for sure, it had to just be an excuse for the usually always forgetful people to somehow blame their downfalls on their unborn child.

Well, I for one, have never claimed to be the most well put together person in the world. Nor have I ever claimed to be the best organized, clear-minded, or anything of the sort. I know I am sometimes clumsy, forgetful and just plain stupid. (I'm only human, right?!) But this, THIS is a whole new level of duuuurrrrrrrr...... I have truly never felt this out of it in my life. Simple little things at work were my first clues.. Like forgetting to let the proper people know that their packages had arrived and spacing on the phone extension for people that I call on a daily basis. It't been a bit frightening just how much my brain has turned to mush.. But last night.. Last night was the epiphany of pregnancy brain..

Nic and I started watching a movie after he got home from rugby practice and of course, I fell asleep on his shoulder. Sometime around midnight when the movie was nearly over, I woke up and decided to get ready for bed. I took out my contacts and brushed my teeth. The usual. However, this morning when I was getting ready I could not find my contacts in their usual place. I was baffled and to be honest a little bit frustrated. I could not understand what happened to them! I wracking my brain, trying to think of all the possibilities.. Maybe Nic had placed them somewhere, maybe Banjo somehow got up on the counter and made the case her new toy.. I just knew it could not have been my doing. I always put the case in the same place! So I had to deal with wearing glasses to work today.

After returning home from work this afternoon, still curious about the wherabouts of my contacts, my hubby swooped in to save the day. He found them within a few short minutes of my asking him to help me find them. Where did they turn up, you ask? In the cabinet, UNDER the counter in our bathroom. Better yet, inside the medicine tub that I had out last night in a late-night Tums raid.

I rest my case. Pregnancy brain is not a joke. Pregnancy brain is a real thing and it can affect any one of us pregos. And once again, God has a a wonderful sense of humor.

There's a new man in my life....

And his name is Hudson Lee..

He's approx 7 inches long, weighs about 11 oz and is the apple of my eye. You can only see him through a sonogram, but I already know he is absolutely perfect. We counted 10 toes and 10 fingers, 2 legs and 2 arms, one precious little belly and one very impressive noggin. He still has a LOT of growing to do, which I am totally okay with. He needs to grow big and strong so his momma can squeeze him tight!

When I finally get to see him, I will most probably be crying, not because I am sad or scared or even cause I'm in pain- no, no, no- I will be crying tears of joy. For now I can only imagine what it will be like to spend time with him, to play with him, to hold him. Oh to hold my precious baby boy.. I absolutely cannot wait.

Well, of course I can wait. I just don't necessarily want to. I know I need to- in fact, he needs me to! I really hope this 2nd half goes by as quickly as the 1st. Right now, more than anything, he needs me to eat well, stay active, remain as stress-free as possible and buy him LOTS and LOTS of presents.

Oh to get to rock him in my arms and sing him lullabys. To watch as he peacefully sleeps while his dad plays guitar and sings to him. To rest on the couch with him sleeping on my chest, just listening to his breathing. That first time he grips on to my finger, I can assure you I will just melt right then and there. To see him smile at his daddy when he hears his voice. The first time he laughs cause his dad makes a funny face, I can promise you, I will be nearby, an overjoyed mess. And yes, even the late night feedings, the sleepy fits, the sound of his cry- all these things I will hold dear to my heart because I know how quickly they will all vanish and we will move on to the next phases of life.

We are eagerly awaiting his arrival, this precious gift from God. We are eagerly awaiting the day when we can see his sweet face and kiss his fantastic baby-scented skin. :)

If there were one thing that is for certain, it's this- this little man, this perfect gift- has already stolen our hearts.

LOVE

Incredibly creative title, I know.

First of all, it simply must be said.. I love being pregnant. I know, I know. It could sound really strange.. and while there are a few aspects that totally freak me out but all in all I could not be more thrilled.

I love feeling the baby move.

I love listening to the heartbeat.

I love the feeling of awe every time a bigger movement happens.

I love getting to read up about all the growth my baby is going through.

I love getting to share this most amazing gift with my wonderful hubby, Nic :)

I just LOVE being a preggo.

I love my wonderful husband- with all of my heart. He is my world. He treats me like royalty, he puts up with my crazy, and he doesn't even realize how much of a blessing he is to me. I am so incredibly blessed by this man that my Heavenly Father designed for me. We have so much fun together and we just click- in all of the places I am weak and neurotic, he is strong and steadfast! I just love it!! I love HIM!!

I love listening to rain fall outside... and not just sometimes, I mean ALL the time. Some people get sick of rain, or hate having it around all the time. I just LOVE it! Being in the Midwest puts us right down "tornado alley" and we have thunderstorms nearly all year round.. and its absolutely wonderful. To me, its a little reminder of how much the Lord loves us, He loves to cleanse us, wash us, make us clean and pure before Him. Yep.. there is something about the rain that will never cease to amaze me.

I love baking, and cooking, and cleaning and organizing and all things that are typical "50's housewife." It's true. I desperately would love to get to be a housewife that has things in perfect order and almost always has something fresh baked from the oven to snack on.. Alongside somehow continuing with this lifelong dream of being a musician.. I am not sure how I can make it all work, but I believe that with a lil' help and guidance from my Heavenly Father all these things can be in my reach.

I love my family.

I love that I have a HUGE family- and that they are not only in one place but literally around the world. From aunts and uncles and cousins and a nana in New Zealand, to brothers and sisters and mum and dad in Cali, even an aunt and uncle in Spain, and with most of my Mullaney family all in Texas.. As a matter of fact I am pretty sure a solid 90% live in that glorious state :)

I love road trips.

I love my Christmas kitten.

I love my friends- I am SO blessed to have such incredible people to call friends.. God has blessed me immensely!

I love getting to see new places.

I love playing my piano and worshiping my Jesus.

I love playing music with my hubby- among all the other wonderful ways we "click" music is certainly among the very top. There is something just so fantastic about that moment when we finish a song, or even just worship together.. It's amazing.

I love taking long walks.

I love going for a run in nice weather.

I love sleeping in.

I love traveling.

I love to love.

I love hugs.

I love Jesus with all of my heart. I am deeply in love with this man named Jesus and I do my best to live my life worthy of the calling that my Lord has placed on it. I know I am so unworthy of His love for me and this is something that humbles me daily. I believe in a man that died on a cross to cover my sins, and I believe that this man is the soon and coming King.

I believe that is good for now.. lots of things to love :)

Faithful and True.

I have learned a few different lessons this week.

1) Cramping during pregnancy is not for the faint of heart.

2) God truly is faithful in the little things- you simply have to open your eyes to see.

3) Friends are a funny thing to juggle.

4) Girls are just as mean in "grown up-land" as they were in high school.

Where to go with all of these lessons? I really don't know. They've just been in the back of my mind this week- and that last one was learned today, so its nice and fresh.

I have had heaps on my mind recently. I don't know if it's the onslaught of preggo hormones that are suddenly turning me into a deep thinker or if it's just the incredible landslide of crazy that has been these past few weeks. It must be a combination of the two.. That's what I think.

One of the things that I just can't seem to get out of my mind is just how different my life would be right now had I not listened to the Lord's call 2 years ago to move to Kansas City... It's quite shocking really. I mean- just think! Had I simply continued down the road I was on, I never would have had the courage to take any time off from UNM, which would have put me at graduating from college with a bachelors degree this May. Sure, I probably would have still lost my job at Saxbys, but I would have been much quicker to find a replacement job since a big move wouldn't have been in my foreseeable future. I wouldn't have started truly cultivating a relationship with my Heavenly Father, my Savior and King. I would still be stuck in the lukewarm, complacent place I was in when I was in Albuquerque. I never would have met the love of my life, my now husband, and the father of my wee little baby that is growing in my belly. I never would have never probably gotten hooked into the House of Prayer- the "prayer movement" so they call it. Mind you, I am not spending nearly as many hours in the prayer room as I was when I was a student at IHOPU, but still, the hunger for the Word, and for spending time with my Jesus is never quite quenched. Its amazing to think about the person I would be if I would have stayed. OH! And I never would have found our lil' rescue kitty, Banjo! She's ridiculous- but she wouldn't truly be a Hansen if she wasn't at least a little crazy.

Thank you, Jesus for lighting the fire under my butt to get out of Albuquerque. Haha! Sounds funny but I SO mean it :)

Ahhh- one of my favorites- listening to the prayer room archives. Ms Laura Hackett is leading and singing the classic...

"Great is Thy faithfulness!Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me"

How fitting.

And so, I end with this, I really don't have much else to say-- God is so good, and I love my wonderful husband..