Long Over-Due

I have been making mental notes over the past 6 weeks about all of the things I wanted to write about, and at this point it would be similar to typing out a doctoral dissertation. Not exactly all on the same topic but the length would certainly be comparable. I just have not found the time to sit down and type any of them out! I'm just gonna see what all I can get out before my sidekick wakes from his nap.

For one, I feel incredibly blessed. I know I say this a lot but it is ever more true with each passing day. I have a wonderful life. My husband takes such good care of me and our son, my son is becoming more and more dear to my heart with every little smirk and sound, and I have a Heavenly Father who is always leading, never forsaking, and loves us so well. And on top of all of that- we have amazing friends and family to share all of this with.

I've kept everyone up with all of our musings about whether we would be moving, or staying, or just remaining in a state of uncertainty and let me just tell you- I am so very pleased to say we have found our answer. We.. are.. STAYING in Kansas City! For now at least, and likely the next couple of years. We truly believe the Lord is calling us to really hunker down (is that a real expression? It just came out so easily.. I feel like its gotta be..) and lock in with our church as they are preparing to move forward. We knew when the Boehne's introduced us last spring that there was something special about the church and it was the first time we had really felt "home" in a church in a while. Their hearts for this city are so genuine and so very passionate about Jesus. The leadership our pastor's have already had in our lives is astounding and we are loving forming bonds with all of the people there. We just can't hardly wait to see what the Lord has in store. CreativeCommunity.tv is where our hearts are and we are so grateful to finally have a sense of peace regarding our whereabouts.. I can finally start planning for our future here. Look for houses.. decorate rather than just set up as though in preparation to just be packing it all up or selling it in the next few months. It feels great.

Along with that decision came a bit of a surprise, our little sister, Natasha, has decided she wants to get out of Cali and have a change of pace. Nic is going to get her a job at one of the hotels he is at and she is going to live with us! Which means-- we may be staying in KC but we gotta get a bigger place. So hopefully that means we an find a nice lil' house to move into this Summer. I can't hardly wait to get her out here. I am so looking forward to getting to know her better :)

Have you ever sat down and written a heartfelt letter, possibly even an angry letter, sealed it up, went as far as putting a stamp on it and just left if on the counter top? Unsent. So many words that needed to get out... and yet, no one, not even the one intended may ever read it? I have one brewing in my heart and in my mind that I feel needs to be hashed out. I know I will never send it.. Simply because I don't think any good would come of it. But I think writing is theraputic. Or at least it is for me. There's something so very freeing about finally getting all the words out that you wish you could say, or would have said, or even what you are feeling- no matter how rational those feelings may be. Yep. I'm gonna do it. If I can find the time. I really am in need of getting some thoughts out. FAR too personal to hammer out on a blog, of course. I was just curious to know if anyone else in the world ever sets out writing letters knowing they more than likely won't even get it past the envelope licking stage.

It has been quite a LONG time since I posted anything... I went from 4 in a month to NONE in Feb and now we're nearly half way through with March and I am just getting to my first one. And I feel like I am rambling. I had SO much I wanted to say and now I am forgetting it all. I guess it's true what they say... Breastfeeding brain is 10x worse than pregnant brain. (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Anything to get me through the day, right?)

Among other crazy happenings in our lives, the one that stands out the most as of late is the most recent "drama" to unfold. And I say "drama" simply because I am sure that if our lives were ever made into a movie, this would be one of the really intense scenes that get people really wrapped into the story... And it goes a little something like this; Nic spent an entire 5 day period in the hospital last week for a throat condition that he has had for years (5 ish if you're interested in the nitty gritty details.) Since I have known him I had never seen it this bad. He has a really tough time with eating, not the chewing or swallowing, its once that has taken place that the problem begins to rear its ugly head. Food and beverage alike get, for lack of better word, stuck, right before it makes it to his stomach. And then to top it off he gets intense spasms in his esophagus and chest, comparable to a heart attack in terms of pain and location. And then because of this he usually winds up having to throw up. Sometimes the pressure will release itself and he will be able to continue eating at a very slow pace and sometimes it will lock up for days not allowing anything to pass. Anyways, we went in to the ER on Friday in hopes of them providing some sort of quick fix because it had come to day 8 of him not being able to eat or drink anything and we had never reached that point before. 4 days was about as long as his throat "lockdowns" had ever lasted. Well after some poking, prodding, questioning, and puzzled looks from everyone, the medical team decided to admit him for the weekend. They ran a range of tests from simple chest x-rays to a barium swallow test and a CT scan. All non-conclusive as to what the real problem was. However, the barium swallow test did indicate some motility issues with the muscles in his esophagus. Rather than working like a wave to push the food down it sporadically pushes up and down, which they're thinking has a lot to do with his problem but doesn't necessarily mean it is the root of the issue. SO on Monday they took him in for an EGD. What could be considered a "minor" surgery, but STILL, my heart was weary. They were able to dilate his throat to 12mm which is not to it's full potential but definitely a step up from the 1-2mm it was prior to the dilation. He has been able to eat since Monday night and we are beyond grateful for that. We still walked away from the hospital with more questions than we had answers, but we know that his team of doctors are motivated to find a solution. He is scheduled for a follow-up procedure in April to rule out any auto-immune diseases and things of that nature. Until then they have him on a double dosage of medicine for acid reflux. Prayers are always appreciated.. I would love for Nic to have a miraculous healing and for his throat and esophagus to be completely healthy and to function to their full potential! I know we serve a God strong enough to heal my husband of this ailment. We are far too young to already be in and out of a hospital like this.

While on the topic- Hudson did GREAT while I took him back and forth between home and hospital. And we even had some help from wonderful friends of ours- the Bailey's took him while we were at the ER and Ms. Amy G took him for us the day Nic had his surgery. He was a great sport and I am ever thankful that we have been blessed with good days to outweigh the bad :)