Jumble.

So many things to say, so little time to sit down and put them eloquently.

{WE HAD A GIRL. }

Aubrey Mae is her name, petite and pudgy is her game.  

We are absolutely in love with this little bundle and are soaking up as much of these early newborn moments as possible. I hesitate to say, only because of our track record with surprise pregnancies, she's perfectly completed our family. This sweet girl is the calm to Hudson and Charlotte's chaos. The happy glue that holds us all together. And she's nearly 3 months old. Which means taking care of 3 very little kids leaves me with very little time to sit down and write anything. Once again I am a puddle of sentiment and sadness; clouded by fresh bathed fuzzy head smooches and frantic cleaning between long nursing sessions; overwhelmed with delightful snuggles and dark-eyed drowsiness. We are so thankful to the Lord for her little life. She truly is our miracle! (More on that when I have more time. Seriously awesome testimony.) 

{We've lived in NZ for over a YEAR.}

How did this even happen? Where did the time go? How many rhetorical questions can I pose before moving on?! I know so much has already happened but it still seems impossible for it to have already been a year. I love it here, and it does feel like home to me, even though the reality of just how far I am officially sank in around Christmastime. And randomly sneaks in on me when I'm feeling a little down. I saw a picture of the Pacific Ocean and its HUGE presence on this side of the world, and I finally understood why it costs so much to fly here. You practically have to cover 1/3 of the Earth's surface area to get here! I miss my family terribly, and so desperately wish we were all closer but it will make the times I do get to see them all that much sweeter. We thankfully have two of Nic's sisters here, which really helps me to feel a bit more at ease about having the kids so far from all their Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents.  At least they have a couple Aunties nearby to love on them! And I have a couple of sisters to talk to and do fun things with, which in and of itself is ridiculously awesome, ya know- since I didn't have any "real" sisters up until about 5 years ago. Of course, we still have our wonderful abundance of Great Aunties and Uncles, Nana and cousins here, but it's extra special to have siblings nearby. You get what I mean. 

We still live in our awesome house with the big yard, although now that it's winter we've had to keep to the only warm room (don't get me started on the hilarity of NZ's lack of warm homes) and that's starting to drive me a bit mad. Keeping three kids indoors, in one room, is pure insanity. But it's the only real option this time of year. And that's okay for now.. So long as I remember to breathe deeply and take up afternoon drinking... I kid. 

About the deep breathing part. 

I often think of really poignant topics I'd like to write about. Or a fairly current event I'd like to voice an opinion on. But then life gets in the way and before I know it, the current event is old news, and I'm left writing about the only thing my brain can even focus on, motherhood. 

I've come to the realization that I'm just in a phase of life where most of my great ideas fail to begin, chores go unfinished, and my deep thoughts are better left to pillow talk. And that's okay for now. Again, so long as I remember to breathe deeply... And take up afternoon drinking. 

Okay, now I kid. I'll save the wine for when Nic comes home and can enjoy some with me. 

Until next time.

(I wouldn't hold your breath.)