I'm all for moving forward and continuing to learn and grow and not dwell on the past but I gotta say, sometimes these sorts of memories overwhelm my heart and mind and I get all warm and fuzzy, nostalgic, or sometimes even a bit embarrassed.
For instance, I was sitting with my kids the other day playing with them when a pretty popular over-played song came on, Hey Ya, actually. It reminded me of my freshman year of high school. And more specifically it reminded me of a guy that had made a big montage of photos from a class trip with the song in the background.. And then THAT reminded me of when my spanish teacher was upset with me. To the point where she kept me after school to have lengthy discussion. (I had her class for the last period of the day.. which meant she could keep me in there as looong as she wanted.. Yikes.) Why was this all connected? Not because I was being unruly or not turning in homework or distracting the class with my awesome rendition of the Hey Ya chorus, but because I was a jerk and I had to cancel on going to prom that guy who was also a student of hers. She was concerned for him and expressed her distaste for girls "like me" who "hurt nice guys.." It was all a big misunderstanding and it was awkward to say the very least.
This guy had been a good friend of mine. A senior who was in Continentals with me, no romantic connection on any level, just a friendly Christian guy and he'd asked me to be his date! The majority of my friends were seniors and he offered to let me come with so I could be there with them. Sure, now looking back, I can understand that he likely had a bit of a crush on me but I was none the wiser and I would have loved to go. Truly. But, the BIG but.. I wasn't allowed to date, on any level. And I didn't know how to express that to him.. So I tentatively gave him my reply- a big fat maybe. I was pretty certain my parents would say no, but for the sake of being a good friend, I thought I could at least ask.
Before I knew it, it was the week of the dance and I hadn't even yet gathered the courage to ask my parents. I knew what their answer would be but I felt like I couldn't tell him a direct "no" until I had heard it for sure from them. So Monday morning rolls around and I stroll in planning to let my friend know that I just couldn't come, annnnd there he was, gifts in hand. There was a THEME for every single day that week of gifts to bring your date, and he had them ALL. I hadn't even said yes officially and here I was arms full of snacks and random "Under the Sea Royalty" trinkets... I was so overwhelmed. And incredibly embarrassed. It was like one of those moments in a movie where the stunned silence somehow gives way to this bubbling excitement from the other person and the silent one is almost ignored in the wake of the excitement... How on earth could I break it to him now?!
I went home that night with my assortment of treats, practically begging my mom to ask, "What the?," which she did, thankfully. And I spilled it all, finally, telling how much I wanted to go so I could be there with my friends, and how excited this guy was and how much he'd already spent on getting me presents... To which my mom, very gently, explained that there was no way I was going to be going to prom, muchless with a date. The way she put it, (then infuriating but now totally understandable), an 18 year old guy does not need to be taking a 14 year old to prom. Plain and simple, no matter how "friendly" the terms. It just didn't need to happen. He could find a date his age and I could hang out with my other friends that night.
This guy had been a good friend of mine. A senior who was in Continentals with me, no romantic connection on any level, just a friendly Christian guy and he'd asked me to be his date! The majority of my friends were seniors and he offered to let me come with so I could be there with them. Sure, now looking back, I can understand that he likely had a bit of a crush on me but I was none the wiser and I would have loved to go. Truly. But, the BIG but.. I wasn't allowed to date, on any level. And I didn't know how to express that to him.. So I tentatively gave him my reply- a big fat maybe. I was pretty certain my parents would say no, but for the sake of being a good friend, I thought I could at least ask.
Before I knew it, it was the week of the dance and I hadn't even yet gathered the courage to ask my parents. I knew what their answer would be but I felt like I couldn't tell him a direct "no" until I had heard it for sure from them. So Monday morning rolls around and I stroll in planning to let my friend know that I just couldn't come, annnnd there he was, gifts in hand. There was a THEME for every single day that week of gifts to bring your date, and he had them ALL. I hadn't even said yes officially and here I was arms full of snacks and random "Under the Sea Royalty" trinkets... I was so overwhelmed. And incredibly embarrassed. It was like one of those moments in a movie where the stunned silence somehow gives way to this bubbling excitement from the other person and the silent one is almost ignored in the wake of the excitement... How on earth could I break it to him now?!
I went home that night with my assortment of treats, practically begging my mom to ask, "What the?," which she did, thankfully. And I spilled it all, finally, telling how much I wanted to go so I could be there with my friends, and how excited this guy was and how much he'd already spent on getting me presents... To which my mom, very gently, explained that there was no way I was going to be going to prom, muchless with a date. The way she put it, (then infuriating but now totally understandable), an 18 year old guy does not need to be taking a 14 year old to prom. Plain and simple, no matter how "friendly" the terms. It just didn't need to happen. He could find a date his age and I could hang out with my other friends that night.
I draaaagged my feet into school the next morning, hoping to muster up some sort of sugar coated excuse to tell him for why I couldn't come.. I even offered to give him the gifts back so he could hand them off to his new date but he took it like a pro! He genuinely seemed like he understood! I was shocked. He was totally cool with it.
Or so I thought. He must have spoken with my spanish teacher that same day, before I had her class, whether he was harsh about what happened remains a mystery but either way- she was fired up and ready to lay into me. I pretty typically tried to lay-low in all of my classes, unless the teacher was a bit more of a friendly personality who liked to joke around with their students, to which I'd always grab onto and try to keep going all year. Regardless of any kind of "friendship" with a teacher I always had an underlying fear of them and their power and always desperately tried to stay on their good side.. Teachers pet? Maybe not in that extreme but definitely a little bit of a goody-two-shoes. I never ever wanted to give reason for a teacher to not like me.. Annnnd here she was, using her grown up stern voice and telling me how big of a jerk I was...
Oooh it stung. And I'm sure I fought back tears when I tried to explain what had happened but I pretty much lost every chance to be on her good side from that point on. And my friend never really mentioned the situation again. Hindsight, of course, I could have handled it all very very differently but I guess that's part of growing up. Gaining perspective and learning from mistakes. And being able to laugh at yourself for being, well.. Childish.
Shake it like a Polaroid picture, right?
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