Anticipation.

The biggest most exciting day of my life thus far is growing close and closer.. I am stuck between wanting it to be here already and wanting desperately for time to slow down! There is still so much to be done, so much to be thought of! But nonetheless- I am 46 days away from marrying the love of my life.

Needless to say, I am SO excited.

I get to become Mrs. Nicholas Less Hansen. How awesome is that?! Mrs. Kristin Hansen. It sounds so nice!! I am still practicing how I want my signature to look... I mean.. There are SO many options! Do I make a HUGE "H" and little everything else? Do I leave out my first and middle name altogether and have it plain and simple, K.R.Hansen? I guess I still have a bit of time to work it all out...

My mom and soon to be mom-in-law have been wedding planning powerhouses and this has definitely been a really good thing.. They're amazing! We are so blessed to have such wonderful moms. Nic and I are sorta in a "don't care" sort of mindset. We both just want simple and elegant and a breakfast buffet. Haha. That's it. Do we care how many seams you have to make in the tablecloths? Oooor how many strands of lights we need and how far they need to spaced out? Not really. We want to get married. And we'd like our friends and family to be there. Done. Haha! I'm sure it's got to be at least a little frustrating for them buut we're so lax about things that it kinda gives them a lot of free reign with details.. So I'm sure its got to be nice too for us to not be so particular that we get worked up about tiny things that don't actually matter..

I just wanna be his wife already :D

It's safe to say I am still needing some prayer and support for some lame-o self image issues. My awesome new "healthy" outlook was going suuuuper well until I went and had my final fitting on my dress... What a sad thing. The enemy has gotten so good at stealing my joy when it comes to the supposed to be exciting days leading up to this wedding. And the worst part is that I totally let it happen. Even slipping into my corset in the fitting room I was thinking- "Wow, I look so good and healthy. Look at how little I am! I can't wait to see what this dress looks like.." I felt India zip up the back and I turn around to see the final product staring back at me in the reflection.. Joy in my heart.. And them BAM! I saw that ridiculous 1/2 inch of skin that for some reason likes to hang over the back of my dress and around the bust area... "Back fat" and "arm pit fat" ruined my day. How stupid!! I tried very very hard to not let my disappointment show but I know for sure my lack of happiness was apparent.. Augh. I broke down when I got home and cried like a freakin' baby. Better yet- I won't be trying my dress back on til November cause it's already been sent to Cali so I don't have to try to carry it onto the airplane when I go.. Of course, now, looking back I see that it seriously is NOTHING to worry about. I look great in my dress, it fits like a dream, I look SKINNY in it and I could basically show up in a sack cloth and Nic would still think I was beautiful. I don't want the stupid lies in my head about not being good enough to ruin my day! I will NOT let that happen. I am beautiful.

Say it again, Kristin. I. Am. Beautiful.

Yup. I get closer every day to believing it.